Thursday | September 3, 2015
Hasbro Recalls Jessica Simpson Baby Shampoo
No longer available on store shelves, the shampoo can still be purchased on the black market.

PAWTUCKET R.I. (CAP) - Days after pressure from parent groups forced Hasbro Inc. to pull a line of dolls based on the sexy girl group Pussycat Dolls from the shelves of toy stores, the Rhode Island-based company is being forced to reconsider several other "inappropriate" figures marketed toward children.

Among them are the "Jessica Alba My First Bikini Line Wax Kit," the "Jessica Simpson Suds & Studs Baby Shampoo" and the "Britney Spears Drop My Baby One More Time Mommy & Son Set."

"We were appalled to learn Hasbro was planning on selling these items to the impressionable youth in kids' stores," said Mickey Snidley of the We Love Our Children More Than You Love Yours Society of America.

Snidley and about a dozen other concerned parents, along with their young ones, staged a protest of Hasbro Inc. yesterday at a local mall's KayBee Toys.

Hasbro pulled the scantily-clad figures of the Pussycat Dolls - whose lyrics include the suggestive "Don't Cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" - last week and admitted that the popular pin-up act ultimately appealed to a more mature demographic than they realized when they agreed to the project.

A spokesman for Hasbro attended the protest and assured the parents group that all of the dolls had been destroyed.

"Except for the ones our sales guys took home for personal reasons," the spokesman admitted.

Satisfied they had done their part to save the world's innocence, the parents then disbanded the protest and frantically set off to find their children in the mall - most of whom had wandered into the adjacent Victoria Secret store and were found loitering near the panty bins.

- CAP News Staff

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Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» President Obama visits Alaska, vows to reunite cast of 'Northern Exposure' for show's 20th anniversary «» Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis now refuses to offer marriage licenses to straight couples, saying after three divorces she just doesn't believe in marriage at all anymore «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» Donald Trump is slamming White House plans to curb opioid addiction, saying it unfairly targets him and his supporters «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» New survey finds most parents of young adult terrorists long for the days when kids were more apathetic and just played video games «»