Saturday | July 4, 2015
Hasbro Recalls Jessica Simpson Baby Shampoo
No longer available on store shelves, the shampoo can still be purchased on the black market.

PAWTUCKET R.I. (CAP) - Days after pressure from parent groups forced Hasbro Inc. to pull a line of dolls based on the sexy girl group Pussycat Dolls from the shelves of toy stores, the Rhode Island-based company is being forced to reconsider several other "inappropriate" figures marketed toward children.

Among them are the "Jessica Alba My First Bikini Line Wax Kit," the "Jessica Simpson Suds & Studs Baby Shampoo" and the "Britney Spears Drop My Baby One More Time Mommy & Son Set."

"We were appalled to learn Hasbro was planning on selling these items to the impressionable youth in kids' stores," said Mickey Snidley of the We Love Our Children More Than You Love Yours Society of America.

Snidley and about a dozen other concerned parents, along with their young ones, staged a protest of Hasbro Inc. yesterday at a local mall's KayBee Toys.

Hasbro pulled the scantily-clad figures of the Pussycat Dolls - whose lyrics include the suggestive "Don't Cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" - last week and admitted that the popular pin-up act ultimately appealed to a more mature demographic than they realized when they agreed to the project.

A spokesman for Hasbro attended the protest and assured the parents group that all of the dolls had been destroyed.

"Except for the ones our sales guys took home for personal reasons," the spokesman admitted.

Satisfied they had done their part to save the world's innocence, the parents then disbanded the protest and frantically set off to find their children in the mall - most of whom had wandered into the adjacent Victoria Secret store and were found loitering near the panty bins.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE business NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Rick Perry to announce his 2016 presidential bid during opening statements of his public corruption trial «»
JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Rick Perry to announce his 2016 presidential bid during opening statements of his public corruption trial «»