Wednesday | December 17, 2014
Hasbro Recalls Jessica Simpson Baby Shampoo
No longer available on store shelves, the shampoo can still be purchased on the black market.

PAWTUCKET R.I. (CAP) - Days after pressure from parent groups forced Hasbro Inc. to pull a line of dolls based on the sexy girl group Pussycat Dolls from the shelves of toy stores, the Rhode Island-based company is being forced to reconsider several other "inappropriate" figures marketed toward children.

Among them are the "Jessica Alba My First Bikini Line Wax Kit," the "Jessica Simpson Suds & Studs Baby Shampoo" and the "Britney Spears Drop My Baby One More Time Mommy & Son Set."

"We were appalled to learn Hasbro was planning on selling these items to the impressionable youth in kids' stores," said Mickey Snidley of the We Love Our Children More Than You Love Yours Society of America.

Snidley and about a dozen other concerned parents, along with their young ones, staged a protest of Hasbro Inc. yesterday at a local mall's KayBee Toys.

Hasbro pulled the scantily-clad figures of the Pussycat Dolls - whose lyrics include the suggestive "Don't Cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" - last week and admitted that the popular pin-up act ultimately appealed to a more mature demographic than they realized when they agreed to the project.

A spokesman for Hasbro attended the protest and assured the parents group that all of the dolls had been destroyed.

"Except for the ones our sales guys took home for personal reasons," the spokesman admitted.

Satisfied they had done their part to save the world's innocence, the parents then disbanded the protest and frantically set off to find their children in the mall - most of whom had wandered into the adjacent Victoria Secret store and were found loitering near the panty bins.

- CAP News Staff

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Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» A survey of children under the age of six finds that most never thought they'd see the day when gas prices dropped below $3 per gallon «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «» Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «» Nation's blacks unsure who to turn to for sage advice on Ferguson situation now that Bill Cosby is just a sexual predator «»