Wednesday | May 27, 2015
Hasbro Recalls Jessica Simpson Baby Shampoo
No longer available on store shelves, the shampoo can still be purchased on the black market.

PAWTUCKET R.I. (CAP) - Days after pressure from parent groups forced Hasbro Inc. to pull a line of dolls based on the sexy girl group Pussycat Dolls from the shelves of toy stores, the Rhode Island-based company is being forced to reconsider several other "inappropriate" figures marketed toward children.

Among them are the "Jessica Alba My First Bikini Line Wax Kit," the "Jessica Simpson Suds & Studs Baby Shampoo" and the "Britney Spears Drop My Baby One More Time Mommy & Son Set."

"We were appalled to learn Hasbro was planning on selling these items to the impressionable youth in kids' stores," said Mickey Snidley of the We Love Our Children More Than You Love Yours Society of America.

Snidley and about a dozen other concerned parents, along with their young ones, staged a protest of Hasbro Inc. yesterday at a local mall's KayBee Toys.

Hasbro pulled the scantily-clad figures of the Pussycat Dolls - whose lyrics include the suggestive "Don't Cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" - last week and admitted that the popular pin-up act ultimately appealed to a more mature demographic than they realized when they agreed to the project.

A spokesman for Hasbro attended the protest and assured the parents group that all of the dolls had been destroyed.

"Except for the ones our sales guys took home for personal reasons," the spokesman admitted.

Satisfied they had done their part to save the world's innocence, the parents then disbanded the protest and frantically set off to find their children in the mall - most of whom had wandered into the adjacent Victoria Secret store and were found loitering near the panty bins.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE business NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» Burger King announces plans to remove unhealthy options from kids meals, will offer empty boxes for $1.99 «» Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «»
JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» Burger King announces plans to remove unhealthy options from kids meals, will offer empty boxes for $1.99 «» Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «»