Wednesday | November 26, 2014
Mass. Flooding "Brilliant Political Move"
During a visit to the town of Ipswich, Mass. Romney remarks how well the region is doing since the rain stopped.

BOSTON (CAP) - As the surging waters in rain-ravaged Massachusetts begin to recede, analysts are calling the deadly flooding a "brilliant political maneuver" for presidential hopeful Gov. Mitt Romney.

"For a public official, there are few things that make you look more presidential than a flood," said Boston-area political analyst Michael Goldfarb, "with the possible exception of a terrorist attack or having your state capitol hit by a meteor."

Goldfarb noted that Romney's ability to look dignified while damp and wind-swept is probably what won him face time on all three major network morning shows. "You can bet Mike Huckabee wishes he came up with this," he said.

"Also, Romney's look of determined concern when he watched people being towed to safety on rubber life rafts with their dogs was a masterstroke," Goldfarb added. "It almost made you think he might actually do something, which of course is preposterous."

The Romney camp declined to comment, but a source close to the governor confirmed that the floods narrowly beat out an earthquake, a reactor meltdown and an invasion by space aliens as Romney's latest bid for presidential recognition. After all, "if the governor is going to spend time in Massachusetts rather than, say, Iowa, he needs a pretty good reason," said the source.

A plan to have Romney's gubernatorial plane taken over by foreign extremists, so he could hide out and use his cunning resourcefulness to pick them off one by one, was scrapped when it was determined that he didn't have a gubernatorial plane.

- CAP News Staff

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Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «» NBC airs video of two dogs humping instead of Obama speech, asks viewers to pick which one represents legal American citizens «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» President Obama cancels afternoon press conference after what aides say was an "untimely erection" «» Speaker of the House John Boehner admits slipping Joe Biden $20 to pants President Obama to find out if he's a boxers or briefs guy «» Nation's blacks unsure who to turn to for sage advice on Ferguson situation now that Bill Cosby is just a sexual predator «» More Americans feeling compelled to visit relatives over Thanksgiving break due to falling gas prices, wish gas stayed above $3 per gallon just until the holidays were over «» CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «»