Monday | January 26, 2015
Nancy Pelosi Workout Video Tops Early Amazon Orders

SEATTLE (CAP) - Pelosi's the word - at least, according to online retailers so far this holiday shopping season.

Early statistics from internet giant Amazon.com show Nancy Pelosi's latest workout video topping wish lists. Approximately 3.4% of all orders placed on the site since Cyber Monday have been for Pilates By Pelosi, which is almost double that of the second most popular item, the Tickle Me Larry Craig doll.

"Nancy Pelosi is hot right now," said Amazon board member Bing Gordon. "I mean, she's always been hot, but even moreso now with that whole Speaker of the House thing. Phew. My palms are sweaty."

If current retail trends hold up throughout the remainder of the shopping season, Pilates By Pelosi will outperform all of the Democratic diva's other workout videos combined. To date, Six-Pack Dems remains the most popular, followed by Whipping You Into Shape and her first video, 1994's Sweating To Pelosi.

In addition to a full 30-minute Pilates workout, the video also features a handful of quick 10-minute exercise segments. And much like her two previous videos, each of those segments is hosted by one of her fellow Representatives. Bob Ney's 12-Ounce Curls, Squat Thrusts With Stephanie [Herseth], and John Murtha's Boot Camp are a few of the extra workouts on the Pilates video.

Other online retailers have reported brisk sales of the Pelosi video, and copies of her old workout videos are starting to pick up steam on eBay. The newest workout is also selling like hotcakes among her constituents in San Francisco.

"I have all six of these puppies," 26-year-old Chester Meyers told a CAP News San Francisco correspondent as he emerged from Le Video with Pilates By Pelosi. "I watch 'em every chance I get. I'd really like to see more of Nancy, if you know what I mean."

According to the unauthorized Nancy Pelosi fan website pelosispeeps.com, Rep. Pelosi is planning to launch a line of bikini and thong swimwear in time for spring break 2008.

- CAP News Staff

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Texas appeals court upholds ruling that bans sale of home abortion kits, says instructional DVD not detailed enough and needs better actors «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «» Body of deceased Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz to be placed in high pressure kiln and turned into limited edition collectible crude oil «» US Capitol janitor confirms he did have to wake a sleeping Joe Biden from his seat behind the podium while cleaning up hours after the State Of The Union «» Boston judge pardons Mark Wahlberg for 1991 incident in which he attempted to impersonate a singer by releasing "Good Vibrations" «» NFL says if Patriots had deflated footballs, their punt would have wedged in Josh Cribbs' facemask, not bounced off of it «» The X-Files returning to Fox with all-new characters E-Cigarette Man, Dentures Man, and Edward Snowden as leader of the reconstituted Lone Gunmen «» Porn website '2 Fat Chicks And A Concrete Barrel' files lawsuit against Black Lives Matter for trademark infringement following highway protest in Boston «» American comedians announce indefinite hiatus on "smelly Frenchman" jokes to give nation time to heal, will heckle Portuguese instead «» ISIS hacks U.S. military's Instagram account, posts pictures of last night's dinner and terrorists making duck lips «»