Saturday | April 25, 2015
Nancy Pelosi Workout Video Tops Early Amazon Orders

SEATTLE (CAP) - Pelosi's the word - at least, according to online retailers so far this holiday shopping season.

Early statistics from internet giant Amazon.com show Nancy Pelosi's latest workout video topping wish lists. Approximately 3.4% of all orders placed on the site since Cyber Monday have been for Pilates By Pelosi, which is almost double that of the second most popular item, the Tickle Me Larry Craig doll.

"Nancy Pelosi is hot right now," said Amazon board member Bing Gordon. "I mean, she's always been hot, but even moreso now with that whole Speaker of the House thing. Phew. My palms are sweaty."

If current retail trends hold up throughout the remainder of the shopping season, Pilates By Pelosi will outperform all of the Democratic diva's other workout videos combined. To date, Six-Pack Dems remains the most popular, followed by Whipping You Into Shape and her first video, 1994's Sweating To Pelosi.

In addition to a full 30-minute Pilates workout, the video also features a handful of quick 10-minute exercise segments. And much like her two previous videos, each of those segments is hosted by one of her fellow Representatives. Bob Ney's 12-Ounce Curls, Squat Thrusts With Stephanie [Herseth], and John Murtha's Boot Camp are a few of the extra workouts on the Pilates video.

Other online retailers have reported brisk sales of the Pelosi video, and copies of her old workout videos are starting to pick up steam on eBay. The newest workout is also selling like hotcakes among her constituents in San Francisco.

"I have all six of these puppies," 26-year-old Chester Meyers told a CAP News San Francisco correspondent as he emerged from Le Video with Pilates By Pelosi. "I watch 'em every chance I get. I'd really like to see more of Nancy, if you know what I mean."

According to the unauthorized Nancy Pelosi fan website pelosispeeps.com, Rep. Pelosi is planning to launch a line of bikini and thong swimwear in time for spring break 2008.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE health NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
New study finds that adults who breastfeed are 58% more likely to be ostracized by their peers and ridiculed for having a milk mustache «» New survey finds 73% of Americans feel like a nut 54% of the time, while 63% of Americans don't 47% of the time «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» A new poll finds 73% of those who would buy a consumer drone plan to use it to fire BB's at neighborhood dogs who come into their yard to poop «» Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» Hillary Clinton says if elected president, she will provide everyone free email accounts on her private server, complete with 2GB of storage «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «»
New study finds that adults who breastfeed are 58% more likely to be ostracized by their peers and ridiculed for having a milk mustache «» New survey finds 73% of Americans feel like a nut 54% of the time, while 63% of Americans don't 47% of the time «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» A new poll finds 73% of those who would buy a consumer drone plan to use it to fire BB's at neighborhood dogs who come into their yard to poop «» Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» Hillary Clinton says if elected president, she will provide everyone free email accounts on her private server, complete with 2GB of storage «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «»