Sunday | August 2, 2015
Israel Accepts Gibson's Apology
More embarassing photos of Mel Gibson have begun surfacing.

TEL AVIV, Israel (CAP) - Seeking to mitigate what he thinks could become an international incident if not checked, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert announced that his country has accepted Mel Gibson's apology for his anti-Semitic remarks.

"Christ on a crutch!" said Olmert in loosely translated Hebrew. "The Jews have endured much worse than Mel Gibson. We accept his damn apology. Now let it go, already."

Despite his words, Olmert has filed an official complaint with the United Nations about what he called "those Lebanese sympathizers in Hollywood." He said the international focus on Gibson's drunken tirade against the Jewish people has distracted his country from its war against Lebanon.

"I wasn't paying attention and I accidentally killed a whole bunch of kids in Qana," said Olmert. "So if Mel wants to apologize for anything, perhaps he should give that one a shot."

Olmert said the distraction also led to a large loss of armies in Scandinavia and Ural, but he hopes to recover within the next few rounds of play.

"If someone in Hollywood really wants to step up and apologize, how about taking some blame for that Little Man movie," said Olmert. "That was just awful."

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE world NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Group of feminists vow to strip naked and walk across DMZ between North and South Korea to prove how uptight both nations are «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Rick Perry to announce his 2016 presidential bid during opening statements of his public corruption trial «»
US State Department confirms that an airstrike has killed top al Qaeda leader Myhstar Belmyhstar in the Syrian port city of Kyrie «» Group of feminists vow to strip naked and walk across DMZ between North and South Korea to prove how uptight both nations are «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» Taylor Swift says she plans to try speed dating because she's short on time and wants to pull together material for a new album «» Rick Perry to announce his 2016 presidential bid during opening statements of his public corruption trial «»