Thursday | March 28, 2024
Obama Poll Numbers Sink In Traffic Jams
A new movement for truth in road signage is taking place in construction zones throughout the U.S.

WASHINGTON (CAP) - President Obama's poll numbers took a dramatic and unexpected nosedive this week in an exclusive CAP News cell phone poll. The poll apparently mostly reached drivers stuck in traffic due to road repairs funded through Obama's American Reinvestment and Recovery Act.

A fuming Jonathan Morley sat in two hours worth of delays on Interstate 95 earlier today staring at lane closures and road signs championing the stimulus package.

"I drive on this highway every day," he ranted, "and let me tell you something about the condition of this road - it' a god damn road! It's flat and it's paved, or at least it was paved until they dug all the pavement up, so they can friggin' repave it again!"

Site coordinator Marshall Jargoff explained the plan for the construction.

"Well, first we have to tear up the old asphalt and then put down new asphalt, but not before we let that grooved pavement that wrecks your tires and suspension sit for a couple of days," he noted. "Then we look to see if the whole thing is flat. It's probably not going to be, so then we have to tear up all the new asphalt again and put down more asphalt. Then we have to mark the lanes - with is a very delicate process and often needs to be repeated dozens of times to get it done just right.

"We figure by the time we get this whole section of highway done, it will be time to do it again," Jargoff added. "I think that's the point."

Edward Scarpetto is in charge of putting down the orange cones that mark off the lane closures. It's a union job.

"Ya see, that takes up a lot of time right there," he said. "We have to make sure there is just enough room for compact cars to get through in the one open lane and not an inch more. Sometimes it takes so long just to put down the cones that we never get to doing any actual construction. But we can't rush these things."

The poll shows Obama's approval rating has fallen from 68 percent to 54 percent among those who say they "drive to work every day."

Citizens have also reportedly taken a cue from the No-Tax Tea Bag crowd and have started the Leave the Roads Alone Alliance. Their logo is that of Michael Douglas' Bill Foster character in "Falling Down" with a missile launcher in his hands along with the movie quote "There's nothing wrong with the street!"

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs declined comment on the declining poll numbers, anger and traffic other than to note he and the rest of the White House staff generally travel with police escorts and don't have to worry about such things.

"Don't even hardly notice 'em," he chuckled.

- CAP News Staff

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