Friday | May 22, 2015
People Names Richards Sorriest Man Alive

NEW YORK (CAP) - Mel Gibson, you've been beat.

Michael Richards has been named People Magazine's Sorriest Man Alive for 2006, eclipsing bigot buddy Mel Gibson for the honor.

"Mel's gonna be upset," the 57-year-old actor told People in its special issue.

"But you know what?" added Richards. "Fuck that Aussie galah and the dingo he rode in on. This award's mine."

Then again, after the week that Richards has had, it's likely the Jew-hater will understand. Hollywood's consummate idiot didn't just launch his tirade at police - he did it in front of a crowd of hundreds. Richards then further cemented the end of his career with that sorry attempt at an apology on the David Letterman show, plus some 35 other apologies.

"We were so ready to hand this award to Mel," said People Magazine Managing Editor Martha Nelson. "We already had the cover made up and everything. We didn't figure anyone could beat two months' worth of apologies, but Kramer did it in just a week."

Nelson said the biggest thing Mel had going for him was the fact that the nation of Israel acknowledged and accepted his apology. However, CAP News Entertainment Editor Greta Von Cistern said it was likely the "intangible things" that gave Richards the nod.

"It's one thing to spew that filth when you're drunk, but another thing entirely to do it while sober," said Von Cistern. "And then to get on TV and just apologize - no rehab plan, no blame on anyone else, no heartfelt Barbara Walters interview - that's ballsy."

Richards joins other great apologists such as People's 1995 Sorriest Man Alive Hugh Grant, 1998 winner Kate Moss and People's 2000 cover boy John Rocker. For more from People's exclusive interview with Sorriest Man Alive Michael Richards, pick up the latest issue, on newsstands Friday.

- CAP News Staff

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Taylor Swift reveals she was behind extreme censoring of Kanye West song at Billboard Music Awards, telling him "Imma not let you finish" «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «» ISIS rebels capture another Iraqi city Americans have never heard of but are led to believe is "very important" «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie shuts down Rt 93 in New Hampshire during campaign stops to remind residents why it would be in their interest to elect him president «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» NFL announces plans to give up its law exempt status and will have players stop committing crimes and start obeying the law beginning next season «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» Quarterly spending reports are out and teenage girls again top the list of "Who Spends All Of Dad's Money On Clothes They'll Never Wear" «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «»