AUSTIN, Tex. (CAP) - A Texas state grand jury has handed down a new indictment of Gov. Rick Perry, citing him for abuse of social media and other infractions for which a brain need not be utilized. A tweet from the Republican governor's Twitter account called the grand jury "a bunch of cowardly drinks [sic]."
"Given his history, and the fact that this is Texas we're talking about, I think he meant to call them drunks," said CAP News political analyst Fuad Reveiz. "But then again, maybe he meant to call them dinks.
"Perry's people really should invest in a good spellchecker," he added.
Referring to the compromising photo of Travis County District Rosemary Lehmberg uploaded to Perry's Twitter stream by someone with access to his account, the indictment states Perry should have known that embarrassing photos are supposed to be posted to Instagram, not twitter. The 18-page indictment further states that it is "the constitutional duty of every American to ensure that drunk pictures specifically are to be posted on Facebook."
"Twitter is great for saying dumb things either on your own, or on someone else's behalf," said MIT social media expert Ron Sharkowski. "But really, there are much better social media tools for pictures you wish you could take back."
Perry himself slammed the indictment, calling it "bullhockey, horsepucky, and super guano." He then threatened each member of the grand jury, vowing to "go all Texas on your ass" if the indictment was not dropped.
"And, oh, by the way, I hope I can still count on your vote when I run for president in 2016," he added.
Perry's indiscretion comes at a time when Texas officials are trying to figure out how to enforce the state's strict new "Don't Drink And Tweet" laws, designed to reduce inappropriate social media posts clearly made under the influence of alcohol. Similar legislation is also being introduced that involves the use of social media while wielding a firearm, as well as how soon after capital punishment it's okay to Snapchat a picture of the deceased.
"Gov. Perry doesn't know it, but he's helping Texas pave the way for the integration of new technology into every day life," said CAP News technology expert Gordie Duvall. "It's exciting to think of the possibilities. He really is an innovator."
If charged, Perry could face the prospect of having to implement parental controls on all of his mobile devices, or be limited to only using MySpace where no one will see what he posts anyway.
- CAP News Staff