Saturday | May 30, 2015
Oklahoma Execution Not 'Botched,' Since He Died
A group of women attending the execution grab a memento before the festivities get underway.

OKLAHOMA CITY (CAP) - Death penalty advocates are objecting to the characterization of Oklahoma's recent execution as "botched," noting that the prisoner did eventually wind up dead.

"Now if he had lived, man, that would be a botch job," noted Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who has personally overseen 275 executions in his home state, some of them in his own driveway.

"I always keep a full clip handy in case something goes wrong," noted Perry. "The minute he starts squirming around, bam! That's also how I deal with sick cattle, and puppies."

Clayton Lockett, 38, was declared unconscious 10 minutes after the first of three drugs in Oklahoma's new lethal injection combination was administered Tuesday evening. Three minutes later, he began breathing heavily, writhing, clenching his teeth and straining to lift his head off the pillow.

"It was a little awkward," noted Oklahoma state executioner Willie Carriker, who said everybody in the room - Carriker, Death Row warden Robert Suggs, medical examiner Charlie Whisenant and a radio contest winner he declined to name - started trading nervous glances the minute Lockett started foaming at the mouth.

"I think we were all thinking, uh-oh, what if this fella lives?" he said.

The blinds eventually were lowered to prevent those in the viewing gallery, mostly field trip attendees from local elementary schools, from watching what was happening in the death chamber, and the contest winner was asked to turn around.

Lockett died of a "heart attack" a short time later, the Department of Corrections said, noting that he was absolutely not hit in the head with a giant mallet.

"So all's well that ends well," said Carriker. "Well, except for the guy who died a horrible, gruesome death, but you get the idea."

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE u.s. NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
World Trade Organization approves putting 'Country Of Origin' labels on immigrants coming into the US to help Americans better target their discrimination «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» New York latest state to ban sneezing while driving, calling it the third most distracting event for drivers behind texting and masturbation «» Justice Department issues subpoena for all computer files related to Hillary Clinton's 2012 online journal, "My Benghazi Blog" «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «»
World Trade Organization approves putting 'Country Of Origin' labels on immigrants coming into the US to help Americans better target their discrimination «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» New York latest state to ban sneezing while driving, calling it the third most distracting event for drivers behind texting and masturbation «» Justice Department issues subpoena for all computer files related to Hillary Clinton's 2012 online journal, "My Benghazi Blog" «» JP Morgan Chase to dismantle Detroit and sell it for parts, saying the demand overseas for after market American cities is strong «»