Tuesday | March 19, 2024
Scientists Hatch New Breed Of Neon Yellow Lice
Available at all Osco, CVS and Rite Aid stores

BALTIMORE, Md. (CAP) - Researchers at Johns Hopkins University have succeeded in creating a new strain of lice whose color ranges from neon yellow to hot pink, an effort over a decade in the making.

"It started as a dare when we had some leftover grant money after our 1999 study testing the effects of eating too many cucumbers on mice," said Russell Hammond, M.D., M.P.H. "But now that we've prevailed, it makes those dozens of lice infestations completely worth it."

For their study, the Johns Hopkins researchers injected organic pigments known as carotenoids into some 43,137 different lice in an attempt to get the lice to pass on the yellow/red pigmentation to their offspring. That combined with small doses of chemical dye eventually resulted in a generation of lice born with vivid yellow and pink coloring.

"We also fed them a lot of avocado because that helped them absorb the carotenoids at a much faster rate," said Yoshi Pamaraju, M.D., Ph.D. "Nothing like dumping thousands of lice into a perfectly good container of guacamole.

"Just don't store it in the break room fridge," he added. "Boy, did I learn that one the hard way."

Despite the odd nature of the experiment, researchers insist that their cause was not frivolous, pointing out that yellow or pink lice are much easier to spot on a scalp than the parasite's typical pale beige or dark gray coloring.

"Unless, you know, you're one of those punk rock chics with bright yellow or pink hair," Hammond said. "On the flip side, though, this works out really well if you're all Goth 'n junk."

Hammonds admits that it could take hundreds of years for enough cross breeding to occur naturally in the wild for their experiment to bear fruit. As such, he and the others have begun offering lice coloring kits as part of a new Catch & Release program for consumers.

"When your child comes home with lice, instead of killing them off, treat the head with our special coloring kit, which will introduce the carotenoids into their systems," said Hammonds. "Then send them to a friend's house to sleep over so the breeding process can begin.

"It may seem a little barbaric, but what kid doesn't love a science experiment?" he added.

The Johns Hopkins Medical Center is now awaiting approval of a grant to fund research into methods of cultivating crickets that show up under a black light in order to make it easier to find them when they get into your house.

- CAP News Staff

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