Monday | April 20, 2015
Congressional Report Notes Old People Continue Dying

WASHINGTON (CAP) - A congressional advisory board meeting under the direction of Vice President Joe Biden says Medicare should charge senior citizens more money for home health care services.

The vice president said he's taking his cue from home contractors and other home repair personnel who are constantly bilking the elderly of their savings, and said the government should not be left behind.

"We don't want to deprive people who need services," said Willamena Gilletto, chairwoman of some other board whose name is too long to print here. "We just want to deprive them of what few dollars they have left to their name in the few short years they have left to live."

Gilletto said any new plan would only require a small co-payment from senior citizens for Medicare home health care. However, given the amount of Social Security that old people are expected to live on each month, that small co-payment could probably buy a month's worth of strained beets.

The senior citizen watchdog group Citizens for Retired Associates and Professionals said it plans to sue the U.S. Government for any decision it deems unconstitutional.

Biden said he's sick and tired of CRAP, and he said CRAP always stands in the way of gettings things done. He said he will see to it that the public will not have to deal with CRAP anymore.

Medicare currently covers the full cost of home health care visits, something that Congress is looking to change. Congressmen said old people are living longer, which is costing the government more, so they want to cut back on how much Medicare covers, which will save the government some money, and probably kill off a bunch of old people, which will then save the government lots of money.

Once and future presidential candidate Bob Dole said he is against the plan.

- CAP News Staff

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