Friday | September 4, 2015
New Report Says Report Needed About Seatbelt Use
Surgeon General Boris Lushniak discusses new slogans to try to increase seatbelt use among drivers.

WASHINGTON (CAP) - A second report released in just as many days says the American public will gladly accept all information told to them, provided it is told to them in the form of a report and supported with quotes from people they don't know.

Fifty percent of people surveyed for the report said statistics also play a large role in determining the validity of a report.

The report further said that children who ride with drivers who do not wear seatbelts are far less likely to be buckled in themselves. And children who ride with drivers who fondle themselves at red lights are more likely to do that themselves as well.

"The evidence is clear," said acting Surgeon General Boris Lushniak. "To get children to touch themselves, we must get drivers to do the same."

A recent national survey by the National Survey Administration For The Release Of Reports found that when a driver's seatbelt and pants were unbuckled, the children were quiet and content. But when the driver was clothed, the children were nagging with statements like, "Are we there yet?" and "I have to go to the bathroom."

The survey found that states with a primary belt law have a usage rate that is 15 percentage points higher than in other states. The survey found that suspenders were the fashion of choice in the other states, with clothesline rope running a close third.

An announcement is expected to be made later this week to explain what the difference is between a report and a survey. Then a press release will follow.

- CAP News Staff

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Los Angeles institutes Shower Shaming, asking residents to rat each other out if anyone wastes water and bathes more than once per week «» President Obama visits Alaska, vows to reunite cast of 'Northern Exposure' for show's 20th anniversary «» Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis now refuses to offer marriage licenses to straight couples, saying after three divorces she just doesn't believe in marriage at all anymore «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» Donald Trump is slamming White House plans to curb opioid addiction, saying it unfairly targets him and his supporters «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» New survey finds most parents of young adult terrorists long for the days when kids were more apathetic and just played video games «»