Wednesday | April 1, 2015
Internet Meme 'Cray Cray' To Add Third Cray
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WASHINGTON (CAP) - The Alliance For Internet Memes has voted 6-1 to resurrect the once popular term cray cray and expand it to a third cray for a whole new generation of tweens seeking their own identity through the use of slang and semi-original catch phrases.

"We understand that it actually sounds less cool to call something cray cray cray because it simply takes too long to say," AIM Executive Director Cameron Sherman said in the majority decision. "Therefore, proper use shortens it to triple cray, as in: Nigga, that shit triple cray!"

With the decision finalized, AIM now has the arduous task of trying to get the phrase into the mainstream in order to maximize usage and overexposure in the shortest amount of time possible. While the group has numerous tools at its disposal, the easiest to exploit may be its rapport with scriptwriters for Disney sitcoms.

"Once we get that China Anne McClain to say it on A.N.T. Farm, there'll be no stopping it," said Sherman. "But then once that annoying puppet on Crash & Bernstein says it, the phrase is dead."

Language experts agree the phrase does have a nice ring to it as well as history on its side with the success of phrases that have been tripled into everyday vocabulary.

"There's the Triple Crown in horse racing and baseball, the triple dog dare you can't turn down, the Triple Lindy," said International College of Applied Linguistics professor George Thompson. "But that's the end of the road. You can double, you can triple, but quadrupling is just stupid."

The AIM directive noted that something should truly be worthy of three times the cray before being labeled as triple cray. However, they also acknowledge that policing usage is "damn near impossible" and that even "this shiny, new catch phrase" will eventually fall out of favor with today's youth.

"Just look at the word epic," Sherman pointed out. "Getting a dental filling without Novocaine is not epic. Neither is sneaking into a movie without paying. That word means nothing anymore.

"But for a while, when someone said something was epic, you knew it was actually epic," he added. "Nowadays, anyone who uses the word is just full of themselves and, quite frankly, triple cray."

- CAP News Staff

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Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «» Apple accidentally unveils new watch at 12pm instead of 1pm after forgetting to turn device forward an hour for daylight savings «» FCC rules Internet providers must stream all porn at the same speed, whether it's hot babes or skanky ho's «» ISIS hacks U.S. military's Instagram account, posts pictures of last night's dinner and terrorists making duck lips «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» A letter sent to the White House has tested positive for proper grammar and punctuation, leading to speculation that it must have come from overseas «» Ted Cruz says he wants to become president so his dog can pee on the White House lawn «» New survey finds 73% of Americans feel like a nut 54% of the time, while 63% of Americans don't 47% of the time «»