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New Iran Fighter Jet Looks Just Like Missing U.S. Drone
TEHRAN, Iran (CAP) - As Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad unveiled what he called an "advanced new fighter jet," U.S. officials did a double-take upon seeing media pictures of the plane, which they say bears more than just a striking resemblance to an American unmanned aerial vehicle.
"Remember back in early December when Iran said they captured one of our drones and we said no you didn't?" said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney. "Well, this is that drone that we didn't lose that they didn't capture.
"So, uhh, who wants to talk about the economy?" Carney added.
Pentagon officials pointed out that while Iran did spruce it up a bit by carving out a cockpit and slapping on some stickers from a model airplane kit, they did little to disguise the fact that the underlying machine was once a U.S. drone.
"I mean, hell, they didn't even remove the Made In China label on the fuselage," said Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Martin Dempsey. "Although the leopard skin seat cover and fuzzy dice are a nice touch."
For their part, Iranian officials insist their military "built it all by themselves" with a kit purchased from eBay. However, Iran could not explain where they got the additional weapons mounted to their new fighter jet that look a lot like guns the U.S. sold to Egypt some years back.
"I haven't the faintest idea how arms that we sold to Egypt could have ended up in Iran's hands," Dempsey said. "So, uhh, who wants to talk about the economy?"
Ahmadinejad tried to allay international fears by assuring world leaders that his country built the jet "just to see if we could" because they simply couldn't pass up eBay's Buy It Now price.
"Don't you worry, America, we won't be going all North Korea on your ass," said Ahmadinejad. "If we decide to try to aim bomb at you, we won't tell you ahead of time."
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