Saturday | April 25, 2015
Andy Reid Reneges KC Job, Thought It Was K-State
Andy Reid daydreams about the press conference he wishes he was having.

KANSAS CITY (CAP) - A shocked and bewildered Andy Reid took to the podium this morning to apologize to the legions of Kansas City Chiefs fans who heralded his arrival as their team's new coach, telling them he had reconsidered and decided not to take the job.

"I am so sorry for all the trouble I caused, but I really thought I was taking a position with Kansas State, not Kansas City," Reid told the throng of local reporters. "You guys had like two wins this year - I can't turn that around. Not even Marty Schottenheimer can turn that around."

Reid said he thought it was strange when his plane touched down in Missouri but figured that maybe it had to refuel or was having engine trouble.

"And as I pull up to the stadium, I'm thinking, Wow, K-State's logo looks a lot like the Chiefs logo," Reid said to the stunned audience. "Then I'm like, OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod.

"I really need to read my contracts more closely before I sign them," he added.

Reid fielded but one question from the gathered media, which was Are you an idiot? by KCTV5's Michael Coleman. He then abruptly left the podium, but not before asking team CEO Clark Hunt if he could keep the hat.

- CAP News Staff

SHARE STORY
MORE sports NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2015 BY CAP NEWS
Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose to have leg replacement surgery, expects to be back in time for playoffs «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» New study finds that adults who breastfeed are 58% more likely to be ostracized by their peers and ridiculed for having a milk mustache «» A new poll finds 73% of those who would buy a consumer drone plan to use it to fire BB's at neighborhood dogs who come into their yard to poop «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» Hillary Clinton says if elected president, she will provide everyone free email accounts on her private server, complete with 2GB of storage «»
Massachusetts court upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose to have leg replacement surgery, expects to be back in time for playoffs «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» New study finds that adults who breastfeed are 58% more likely to be ostracized by their peers and ridiculed for having a milk mustache «» A new poll finds 73% of those who would buy a consumer drone plan to use it to fire BB's at neighborhood dogs who come into their yard to poop «» Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» Hillary Clinton says if elected president, she will provide everyone free email accounts on her private server, complete with 2GB of storage «»