Tuesday | March 31, 2015
Andy Reid Reneges KC Job, Thought It Was K-State
Andy Reid daydreams about the press conference he wishes he was having.

KANSAS CITY (CAP) - A shocked and bewildered Andy Reid took to the podium this morning to apologize to the legions of Kansas City Chiefs fans who heralded his arrival as their team's new coach, telling them he had reconsidered and decided not to take the job.

"I am so sorry for all the trouble I caused, but I really thought I was taking a position with Kansas State, not Kansas City," Reid told the throng of local reporters. "You guys had like two wins this year - I can't turn that around. Not even Marty Schottenheimer can turn that around."

Reid said he thought it was strange when his plane touched down in Missouri but figured that maybe it had to refuel or was having engine trouble.

"And as I pull up to the stadium, I'm thinking, Wow, K-State's logo looks a lot like the Chiefs logo," Reid said to the stunned audience. "Then I'm like, OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod.

"I really need to read my contracts more closely before I sign them," he added.

Reid fielded but one question from the gathered media, which was Are you an idiot? by KCTV5's Michael Coleman. He then abruptly left the podium, but not before asking team CEO Clark Hunt if he could keep the hat.

- CAP News Staff

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NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose to have leg replacement surgery, expects to be back in time for playoffs «» Newly retired Jeff Gordon cited for driving in breakdown lane, said he was "going nutty" sitting in traffic «» Patriots caught trying to sneak snow-making machine into University of Phoenix Stadium for competitive advantage during Super Bowl «» NFL says if Patriots had deflated footballs, their punt would have wedged in Josh Cribbs' facemask, not bounced off of it «» Newly released Mueller report says NFL did not even know Ray Rice had a girlfriend, thought he was beating up a hooker in the elevator «» NJ Gov. Chris Christie seeking bids from NFL owners to be their super fan during upcoming playoff games, vows to jump around like a jackass if team wins «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «»