Tuesday | September 1, 2015
Toilet Sizes Expand To Meet Needs Of Obese Nation
The new Duravit Wide Mouth® Duraplus 2

MORROW, Ga. (CAP) - As the girth of American midsections continues to increase, so too must the tools used to manage and care for those ever-widening waistlines. That's the finding of the Department of Health and Human Services' Annual Sanitation Assessment. released this morning.

"The size and shape of toilet seats hasn't changed in over 120 years, yet we as a people are fatter than we've ever been," said National Coordinator for Health Information Technology Farzad Mostashari. "We eat big, and we shit big. And we need a toilet that can keep up with us."

The Assessment's recommendation deals specifically with the width of toilet bowls, calling for the ACTS ratio not to exceed 1.3. The Ass Cheek/Toilet Seat ratio also determines how long a person can sit on the toilet before their buttocks become numb.

"30 minutes was always the standard, hopefully exceeding what any reasonable person would need," said Mostashari. "Nowadays people are lucky if they can sit for five minutes without losing all sensation in their rump.

"When you can sit on a toilet after forgetting to put the seat down and not fall in, you know it's time for a bigger toilet," he added.

Manufacturers are already on board with the DHHS guidelines, with many announcing product lines that meet the new specifications. Among those are Toto's Double-Wide Drake II, Caroma's Quad-Flush Big Boy, and Kohler's Cimarron Megass K-3589.

- CAP News Staff

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General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» Donald Trump is slamming White House plans to curb opioid addiction, saying it unfairly targets him and his supporters «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» New survey finds most parents of young adult terrorists long for the days when kids were more apathetic and just played video games «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «»