Sunday | January 25, 2015
Nike Unveils New Slogan: "Born To Die"

BEAVERTON, Ore. (CAP) - Multinational sportswear corporation Nike revealed a new slogan this week in an ad campaign for a line of designer athletic shoes. Public reaction has been mixed, with many critics and consumers alike saying that Nike's bold new motto leaves them feeling "unsettled."

"I mean, it's a true statement - our time on this earth is very limited," said Bill Davis, a Los Angeles advertising executive. "I'm just not sure it really makes you want to go out and buy new shoes.

"Still, I guess it does make you think," Davis noted. "When you get down to it, all of us are marching inexorably into oblivion. Death really is the great equalizer."

Davis wiped his eyes briskly. "Oh, God - excuse me, I need to go spend time with my wife and children," he said, rushing out of his office.

Nike's marketing team reportedly spent months developing this newest campaign, consulting with a wide range of diverse and unconventional focus groups, including a colony of Buddhist monks in a monastery in southern Tibet.

"One idea we were kicking around for a long time was, In the End, Death Takes Us All," said Nike Sales Executive Bill Bryce. "We also liked Make Them Eat Your Dust, Before You All Inevitably Become Dust.

"But we thought those weren't quite catchy enough," Bryce added. "Nike is known for its dynamic, pithy phrasings, and there was a lot of pressure on us to live up to our most widely-known motto, Just Do It."

Added Bryce, "Ultimately our goal with this Born To Die campaign was twofold: to remind customers that Nike makes excellent athletic shoes, and to urge them to acknowledge the fact that existence is fragile and can end at any moment.

"Frankly, I think we managed to do both very well," he said.

Bryce later reiterated that the shoes in the new line also come in a variety of great colors.

- Molly Schoemann
Contributing Writer

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