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Trump Offers $5 Million For Palin's OB/GYN Records
NEW YORK (CAP) - Real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump announced today that he would give $5 million to a charity of Sarah Palin's choice in exchange for the release of the former Alaska governor's gynecological records.
"Sarah Palin is the least transparent GILF in the history of this country," Trump said in a YouTube video shot from his New York office. "And while I'm honored to have supported her politics, we are all hungry for more details about her - intimate details."
Trump pointed out that although he has been quite successful in business and real estate, he has lacked success with those of the female persuasion. He said he doesn't have a good idea "what the heck is going on down there, you know, in that area" and would love to have her teach him more "about that whole deal."
"I'm pretty sure if I got a look at some charts, graphs, photos, X-rays, smears or whatever else might be contained in her medical records, I'd be able to piece this all together," Trump noted. "I mean, I tried reading that Sandra Boynton book Good Day, Vagina!, but I just couldn't follow the story."
Sarah Palin's press manager Tammy Sue Bacom said the ex-governor has no comment on the offer, telling CAP News that this stunt reveals Trump as "some sort of pre-pubescent, genital obsessed freak" with little concept of reality.
"On the other hand, five large to share the kooka records, are you serious?" Bacom added. "We are now working at the C&C Music Factory, because this is something that makes you go Hmmm."
Political pundits are weighing in on Trump's announcement, with Fox News commentator Sean Hannity calling it "clear evidence that he is, in fact, a crack head."
"Who asks to see a woman's personal medical records, especially gyno records?" Hannity railed on his radio show. "What he should be asking to see is the mammogram - everyone knows that's the money shot.
"Especially with the pair of jubblies that Palin is packing," added Hannity.
Both candidates for president took to Twitter and seemed to be pleased with Trump's latest antics.
"Hey Trump, while you're at it, you should ask to see Governor Romney's penile enlargement and erectile dysfunction records," tweeted @CommanderInChief.
@RichyMitt tweeted, "This is awesome - my friend Donald will either be broke with all these offers or be the smartest man in the world!" followed by, "Speaking of Donalds - why does Donald Duck wear a shirt but no pants? 143 SLC."
Among the charities that could benefit from Palin taking up the offer are the American Wolf Hunting Society, Alaska's Frostbite Research, and any number of groups servicing the inner city children of Juneau.
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