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FOOTBALL
Terrell Owens Cut From Neighborhood Pickup Game
ALLEN, Tex. (CAP) - Less than a week after being released by his Indoor Football League team, Terrell Owens was unceremoniously dumped from a pickup game of flag football during a neighborhood barbecue this past weekend. Witnesses say Owens stormed off the field and spent most of the game sulking by the dessert table.
"No, I don't feel bad at all," Owens' former teammate Phil told CAP News. "He was more interested in stuffing his face with my wife's cream cheese brownies anyway.
"I suppose it was a little insulting when we replaced him with [Tommy Holden's 16-year-old son] Chad, who has that autism thing," added Phil. "But the other team were great sports and let Chad score once, which is more than we can say for Terrell when he was in the game."
Other teammates of Owens, who asked not to be identified, complained that the former NFL star didn't seem to care about the outcome of the game, which carried with it some fairly substantial neighborhood bragging rights for the remainder of the summer. Owens' team, which lost the game five touchdowns to three, won't have a chance to redeem itself until the big neighborhood block party in late August.
"We're trying to design a crossing pattern specifically for him, and he's all over at the grill getting, like, his fifth cheeseburger or something," said Brad Janowski, the team quarterback. "You'd think the guy hadn't eaten for a month. Leave something for the kids, for crying out loud."
For his part, Owens claims he had reached an agreement with barbecue officials allowing him to remain at one end of the field throughout the game and not have to partake in the "losers walk" ritual after a touchdown was scored. Lisa Burke, who organized the neighborhood gathering, admitted such a conversation took place but said she didn't know "what the hell he was talking about."
"Some guy named Drew Rosenheinz or Rosenhorse or something called me a couple weeks ago to make sure we were all set for this guy's arrival," said Burke. "I told him we were supplying the burgers and dogs but doing the rest of it potluck, so if he could bring something that would be great.
"Terrell did show up with a two-liter of Fanta and a container of potato salad, but it was store bought," Burke added. "I mean, I could have done that! I was hoping he'd put a little effort into it."
Rosenhaus has filed a grievance with the barbecue planning committee, saying his client was misled about the level of effort expected in the game and told that there would be plenty of time to play some lawn jarts and toss a frisbee around - both activities of which took place simultaneous to the football game and Owens missed out on.
The committee has said that it's unlikely Owens will be invited back. They say this is due in no small part to the fact that Rosenhaus tacked a copy of his grievance onto the bulletin board at the local Tom Thumb, right over 13-year-old Ashley Carlson's "Babysitter Available" poster, essentially quashing the young entrepreneur's startup venture.
"We could always ask Brett Favre to come, I don't think he's doing anything," said one resident. "Plus I hear he makes a great potato salad."
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