Monday | December 22, 2014
Twitter Teens Discover Three Stooges Were Real
San Francisco University's post-graduate course, "The Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck In American Society"

SAN FRANCISCO (CAP) - Twitter was abuzz this week with incredulous tweets from teenagers throughout the U.S. who expressed amazement at discovering that the Three Stooges were apparently real people.

Nobody told me the stooges were real ... ? How am I just finding this out?! posted @lizamagong after seeing the new film version of The Three Stooges directed by the Farrelly brothers.

And @BabyDee22 sounds similarly surprised, tweeting: Guys, the Stooges were real dudes in like the 20s or something! #mindblown.

After some back-and-forth, general consensus among the teens seemed to be that, while they had at first thought the Stooges were newly invented movie characters, it turns out they were actual people with a superhuman capacity to withstand punishment delivered via eye pokes, nose pulls and blows from sledgehammers.

I guess they made all these B&W documenteries about them? I asked my grampa & he said they wore shorts, tweeted LuvCarly67, apparently referring to the short subjects made by Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard during the 1930s and 1940s. And @sammyLoveB tweeted, They had to keep replacing Stooges because they kept killing each other w/ hammers n shit. #gangsta.

Oddly enough, the tweets drew the attention of popular Twitter contributor and film critic Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago), who insisted that contrary to what the teenagers believed, the Stooges were not in fact real but actually fictional characters played by actors. The Stooges were about as real as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, tweeted Ebert.

Also, here's my losing entry in the 331st New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest, he added.

But apparently Ebert's tweets just confused many of the teens further. For instance, @BoonAss899 replied, WTF is a Bugs Bunny? AYSOS? lol. And very few other teens follow Ebert's tweets, opting instead to follow Twitterers like @ladygaga.

Monsters, just found out the 3 Stooges were real - WTF? @ladygaga tweeted yesterday afternoon.

Even Sarah Killen, the woman whose Twitter feed was made into a television show after Conan O'Brien chose at random to follow her, weighed in, saying that she didn't know if the Three Stooges were real or not, but that she still thought that peanut butter was yummy.

I still can't believe I followed this girl, tweeted @ConanOBrien later that day.

Meanwhile, the Stooges debate rages on among Twitter teens - many of them reportedly "assholes" - via a flurry of tweets using all of Twitter's recently expanded 141 characters.

And things got even more complicated when someone tweeted that in addition to the Stooges, the Titanic was also real. Wtf I never heard the titanic was real :/ who knew?, tweeted @HopeDoo78 and hundreds of other Twitter teens.

This prompted @ebertchicago to respond, Calm down, Titanic was just a movie. AYSOS?

- CAP News Staff

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Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» CBS cancels new Bill Cosby show, "Women Make The Darnedest Allegations" «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «»