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NEW YORK (CAP) - In a surprise foray into the software industry, the New York Times has announced the release of a program called Where Are the Women?, which automatically recontextualizes any story to address the lack of women.
"It's really quite simple," said lead developer Gloria Fichtner. "You just input any issue, like the Army, the Oscars, or a ham sandwich, and the program instantly reframes the story so that women are portrayed as the victim."
The CAP News technology department recently evaluated the software and found it to be remarkably effective. A recent story on how the economy was hurting all Americans was immediately altered so that women apparently were being hit the hardest, easily evidenced by the headline, Women Hit Hardest By the Economy.
CAP News technology expert Gordie Duvall noted that the software is applicable to any story. NASA Launches Probe becomes Are Women Being Held Back In Science?. Dalmatian Wins Best In Show becomes How Many Bitches Have Won?. And Woman Drowns Children In Car becomes Are Mothers Overburdened?.
If the story is already positive about women, then the Times software will change the article to suggest that although women are making great strides, there is still much progress to be made. A recent study showing that women were graduating college at higher rates than men was titled, Women Graduating At Higher Rates Than Men, But Still.
The software has been sold to various magazines including The Huffington Post, Salon, and The Atlantic. "We've been doing this kind of thing manually for years," said Sally Morgan, a writer at The Atlantic. "But this software makes it much easier, and look at the interface! So sleek and easy to read."
"I was writing a piece on seedless watermelons," continued Morgan, "and just for the hell of it plugged it into the Where Are The Women? program. It turned into a hard hitting story on abortion. It won me a Pulitzer."
CAP News asked Fichtner if constantly portraying women as victims is condescending to them because it makes it seem like they need special protection.
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Fichtner. "Have you not used the tutorial in our program? You should really use the tutorial."
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