Sunday | December 21, 2014
All Known Products Now Sponsoring NASCAR

CHARLOTTE (CAP) - According to a new report by the American Institute For Advertising And Marketing, it has been confirmed that every product known to exist is now an official sponsor of the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, known commonly as NASCAR.

NASCAR, a family owned company founded by Bill France Sr. in 1947, has long been known as an ideal advertising template - the logos of many popular brands noticeably emblazing the exterior of the stock cars and drivers' uniforms.

"It makes sense that we've finally reached this stage," explained Brian France, grandson of the late Bill France Sr., who took over as the company's CEO in 2009. "Marketing companies see the sense in sponsoring our sport. What you have as an advertisement being driven past a captive audience over and over again for hours at a time.

"What company doesn't want that kind of exposure?" added France.

According to the AIAM, the realization that all products are now represented somewhere at a NASCAR race came when researchers attempted unsuccessfully to name a single product that was not.

Among the biggest surprises of this discovery include the fact that all foreign brands are now paying for advertising space at events. All known automakers are also currently sponsoring NASCAR even though only a few brands actually compete. In addition, all brands that researchers previously thought potentially inappropriate for the conceived target audience are now confirmed sponsors of the nation's second most viewed sport.

"There's simply no getting around it," said Thomas Falk, CEO of Kimberly-Clark Corporation, whose brands now showcased on NASCAR vehicles include Cottonelle, Huggies, Kleenex, and Kotex. "NASCAR is simply the best place to advertise in the world."

NASCAR races are broadcast in over 150 countries and the company holds 17 of the top 20 attended single-day sporting events in the world. NASCAR also claims 75 million fans who purchase over $3 billion in annual licensed product sales. These figures no doubt have great influence as to why brands the world over seek out space at these events on which to present their logo.

"Our research has found that the success rate of advertising at these events is far higher than most other mediums for advertising," said Jeremy Connolly, director of the AIAM. "It is something of anomaly, really."

For now, NASCAR seems to have teamed with all possible partners. The company, however, is still far from satisfied.

"There's always room for improvement," said France. "Sure, we may have all possible sponsors now, but who knows what the future will bring. It's our hope that as new products are introduced to the world market, that we will be able to partner with those brands as well."

While it is certain that new products will eventually make their way onto the market, it is uncertain whether or not these hypothetical products will follow the world-wide trend of advertising with the racing giant. For the time being, NASCAR plans to use their substantial advertising revenue to expand, with an eye on bigger venues and more seating capacity.

- Winston Ward
Contributing Writer

SHARE STORY
MORE sports NEWS
RELATED STORIES
LEGAL
ALL MATERIAL IS

SATIRE

AND ©2005-2014 BY CAP NEWS
NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «» Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «»
NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez sues steroid manufacturer, saying his drugs weren't exactly "performance enhancing" as advertised «» North Pole mainframe hacked and Kim Jong-un's name moved to 'Good' list; North Korea denies responsibility «» Disney cancels release of 'Into The Woods' after American witches threaten to cast a spell on moviegoers and turn them all into newts «» The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «» Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «»