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McCartney Album Feared To Promote Bottom-Kissing
LONDON (CAP) - In the wake of criticism from country star Brad Paisley, detractors are now coming out of the woodwork to express concern about former Beatle Paul McCartney's new album, Kisses On The Bottom.
"It's only February, but Sir Paul is an absolute lock for worst album title of the year," wrote Paisley on Twitter, who took pains to point out that, like most country artists, he is typically both pro-kisses and pro-bottoms. "Just not together," he tweeted.
Sources close to McCartney said they tried to steer him away from the controversial album title, but it was apparently the least offensive of several options McCartney was considering, including Pecks On The Rump, Busses On The Buttocks and More Silly Love Songs.
That fact seems to be small consolation to McCartney's critics, including the watchdog group One Million Moms, who recently chastised Ellen DeGeneres for turning its members gay.
"Funny that Paul McCartney thinks that giving his album a lewd and inappropriate title will spur sales when most of his listeners come from traditional families, whatever that means," said One Million Moms president Karen Grabower. "In our organization, many of our members who enjoy music barely even have bottoms, and certainly don't kiss them if we do."
And Tipper Gore, former wife to onetime Vice President Al Gore, has even revived her Parents Music Resource Center in an attempt to stem the tide of bottom-kissing she's sure McCartney's album will cause.
"We're not looking to stifle Mr. McCartney's creative freedom - we just want to protect the young people," she said. In response, the world's young people texted "WTF is a Paul McCartney?"
Ironically, the release has even caused some confusion with his fellow former Beatle Ringo Starr's latest album, which is dedicated to his former bandmates and called Kiss My Ass.
"Now I mean it doubly," said Ringo, who is preparing to go on tour with his All-Star Band featuring Kansas violinist David Ragsdale, Jethro Tull bassist David Goodier and the most recent replacement drummer for Starship.
"I forget his name ... pretty sure it's Greek, though," said Starr. "He was the guy who came in after Mickey Thomas fired Danny Baldwin for beating him up." Then he heaved a long, heavy sigh.
For his part, McCartney - reached yesterday at his recording studio in Icklesham, UK - was unrepentant. "I like to be mischievous," he told CAP News, adding that by calling the record Kisses On The Bottom, "I was just being a little cheeky. See what I did there? Cheeky?" Then he offered the reporter a bowl of Sosmix vegan sausages.
McCartney is certainly no stranger to controversy. He came under fire in 2008 for declining to take part in Bass Instincts, the charity single meant to remind listeners of the importance of the bass in rock music history. And his very public divorce with Heather Mills also made headlines, although he's since settled down into a quiet existence with transportation magnate Nancy Shevell, reportedly spending their weekends lolling around Icklesham, kissing each other's bottoms.
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