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US Plans New War To Honor Fallen From Previous Wars
WASHINGTON (CAP) - U.S. Sercretary of State Hillary Clinton today announced that the Obama administration is currently making plans to launch a new military campaign. The war effort, tentatively named, The War Of Remembrance would be "held as a celebration of the lives sacrificed for the freedom and sanctity of our great nation."
"What better way to honor those who have fallen than to continue in the grand tradition to which they laid down their lives?" Clinton said at a news conference held at Arlington National Cemetery.
While an official opponent has yet to be selected, the list of suitable contenders has been narrowed to include the likes of North Korea, Libya, Iran and China. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta even went on record as saying that consideration is also being given to "dusting off our former rivalry with England."
"I mean, so far, they're the only country who has brought a war to our shores who we never got a chance to pay back in kind," Panetta noted. "I think, to many of those who have died in service to their country, that the stain of remembering the White House being burned down still causes a bit of shame.
"Torching Buckingham Palace might be a great way to pay our respects to their memories," he added.
Without an official adversary announced, the details of the planned invasion remain unclear, but Clinton said the campaign will commence no later than next spring. "Our departed heroes and their families have waited long enough for us to show them their proper reverence," stated Clinton to the eager media. "The time to give these heroes their due is now."
President Obama, who was unable to attend the press conference in person due to being on vacation in Hawaii, made brief comments via tele-link. "Fellow Americans," the president began. "With the withdrawal of our troops from Iraq, the time has never been better for this monumentous undertaking. Our country's lost sons have long-since deserved this type of veneration."
Mary-Beth Warren, a 64-year old Virginia native, watched teary-eyed as Clinton announced the plans.
"I'm just so happy that they're finally doing the right thing," Warren told CAP News. "My husband was killed in Vietnam. And, sure, they've built some stone monuments for the veterans, but they fell short of really giving Eddie the respect he deserves."
Jeremy Slezak, a 17-year old senior at Washington-Lee High School in Arlington, echoed the crowd's pleasure at the announcement, telling CAP News he hopes he gets through boot camp in time to serve.
"I've never really had any interest in combat before, but this is such a good cause," said Slezak. "It really makes me want to serve and, yes, even die, for those who came before me."
In preparation for the celebratory war, Clinton said the president hopes to defer a larger than average percentage of the national budget to the effort because "we really want to do this right."
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