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Feds Seek To Prosecute Sandler For 'Jack & Jill'
WASHINGTON (CAP) - The U.S. Attorney's Office announced this week that it is seeking indictments against Adam Sandler, along with fellow producers Todd Garner and Jack Giarraputo, over their new film Jack & Jill, calling it "a crime against humanity."
In the movie, Sandler plays both Jack Sadelstein and his frumpy sister Jill Sadelstein, who throughout the film is subjected to a litany of derogatory remarks about her looks, her weight and her general lack of intelligence. It currently has a 3 out of 100 rating at RottenTomatoes.com, making it officially one of the worst movies ever made, including snuff films.
"Even Good Luck Chuck got a 5," noted Jeff Giley of Rotten Tomatoes.
But according to prosecutors, the film's offenses go far beyond just being unentertaining.
"Our prosecutors will argue that Sandler and his fellow producers have committed at least several actionable offenses," according to Richard Millburn of the U.S. Attorney's Office. "Attorney General [Eric] Holder has given us full authority to seek indictments on charges of fraud, extortion and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and that's just to start off."
The fraud charges stem from Sandler's attempt to pass the movie off as an "object of legitimate entertainment," rather than "a steaming pile of cow dung," said Millburn, who noted that only the first of those two phrases is a legal term.
The extortion charges are in response to the targeting of advertisements at young children who in turn badger their parents to see the movie, and the delinquency allegation refers to the tendency of the film to turn otherwise well-behaved youngsters into children "who act ... well, like Adam Sandler," said Millburn.
"My [7-year-old] grandson went to see this movie," added Attorney General Holder, who is considering personally prosecuting the case. "You know what he said when he got home? Hey Grandpa, Grandma's fat and ugly - high five! Then he farted."
There have also been at least three reports of people dying while watching the film, presumably from boredom, but Millburn said there isn't enough evidence to support a murder charge.
"Although we've been trying to pin one on [Sandler] since someone choked on nachos while watching Little Nicky," Millburn admitted.
Representatives from Sony Pictures called the charges "specious," noting that the motives of the U.S. Attorney's Office have been suspect ever since the 2007 controversy over fired Easter bunnies.
"Besides, all of Adam's films make millions of dollars," noted Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Amy Pascal. "Could the American viewing public really be that stupid?"
Sandler himself declined to be interviewed for this story, with a representative saying he was too busy finishing his next movie, What The Hay, about an emotionally stunted man-boy who moves to a New Hampshire farming town and makes fun of the fat, ugly women who live there. It features cameos by Kevin James, David Spade, Norm Macdonald and Rob Schneider as a sheep, and is expected to gross upwards of $100 million.
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