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Gadhafi Surfaces At Labor Day Barbecue
WHITMAN, Mass. (CAP) - Toppled Libyan leader Moammar al-Gadhafi, whose whereabouts have remained a mystery since being overthrown, has turned up none the worse for the wear at a Labor Day barbecue in southeastern Massachusetts. John and Robyn Kennedy, who hosted the party, said they don't think they invited him and just figured he had tagged along with another guest.
"I mean, you know, there were like 50 people there - I didn't know everybody," said John. "Seems like every time I turn around, my sister Lisa's dating somebody new. After a while I just stop asking their names."
Kennedy said Gadhafi did "stick out a tad" visually because of the clothes he was wearing, but he got along well with the other guests and didn't cause any trouble. One family friend said he even pushed the kids on the swingset for a little bit while she ran to the bathroom and grabbed a bite to eat.
"I would never knowingly leave my boys with a wanted terrorist, but it was just for a few minutes and there were other parents around," said Nicole Markum, a single mother who lives across the street from the Kennedys with her three children. "Although when I got back he was saying something to them about continuing the resistance, whatever that means. I just figured maybe the swings weren't gliding well."
John's brother Chris, who manned the grill for most of the afternoon, said Gadhafi had a pretty good appetite, and even liked his wife's potato salad, "which really could have used more mayo." Chris said he did make small talk with Gadhafi after the Libyan dictator asked for a medium-rare cheeseburger on a toasted bun.
"See, I knew it was him or Carlos Santana. But I couldn't be all, like, Hey, are you Moammar Gadhafi? That's not cool," said Chris. "Dude's got enough going on, he doesn't need me all up in his grill."
Kennedy said he was paid a visit by the Department of Homeland Security shortly after the party had concluded, but he didn't have much information to offer because he never saw Gadhafi leave. However, Boston DHS offials said a neighbor thought they saw Gadhafi climb into a blue Saturn Astra and head toward the nearby town of Hanson.
"The problem is that we don't know where he's going to crop up next and we fear he'll continue to mooch off the American people," said Undersecretary of Homeland Security Kurt Schwartz. "So we're asking all party people in the house to be extra vigilant over the next few months.
"We're afraid that if he's still at large come Halloween then we'll never locate him, given what I'm sure will be the heightened popularity of the Moammar Gadhafi costume this year," added Schwartz.
To that end, Schwartz said the Boston field office has created a special DHS task force that will attend parties and other gatherings around eastern Massachusetts in the hope of locating Gadhafi before he "ends up as an overnight guest on somebody's sofa somewhere." Responding to critics of the plan, Schwartz noted that it's the same method they used to capture elusive criminal Whitey Bulger.
"Or was that the FBI?" he said. "I dunno, I can never keep us straight."
Many Massachusetts residents say they're anxious for DHS to locate Gadhafi so they can go back to just worrying about the Yankees. One local woman who spoke to CAP News said she hopes Gadhafi is found before her son's birthday party next month, otherwise she's afraid she "won't have enough Hoodsies to go around."