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WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON (CAP) - While President Obama's approval rating hovers around the 40% mark, a CAP News investigative report has uncovered evidence that the Gallup poll numbers may actually be inflated from their true value by as much as 10-15% thanks in part to a recent proliferation of Facebook friends, Twitter followers and Google Plus circles - many of which appear to be fake profiles created just for the president's benefit.
Documents obtained fraudulently by CAP News detail an extensive back office effort by White House staff and interns to create fake accounts across multiple social media platforms whose sole purpose has been to 'Like' the president's postings, tweets and other online activities to try to improve his ratings. White House officials deny any involvement in these particular illicit activities.
"Does the president have knowledge of the administration's spam email campaign to sell Max Gentleman Enlargement Pills?" White House press secretary Jay Carney said. "Of course he does, because we could all use a few inches and the economy could use the boost of a lucrative affiliate marketing program.
"But the president has never artificially inflated his number of online friends," added Carney. "In fact, he recently completed the Facebook challenge, How Well Do You Really Know All Of Your Facebook Friends? and passed it with flying colors.
"However, he does apologize for not acknowledging Bob and Sally's anniversary on their Wall and he hopes you guys can get together for dinner soon," noted Carney.
However, a paper trail unearthed by CAP News reveals payments made from offshore PayPal accounts to various black market sites that promise to provide "1,000 Facebook friends in 10 days" and other questionable claims that typically violate a given social network site's terms of use. A look at some of the accounts showed strange activity ranging from profile pictures of lingerie-clad models to five that were all supposedly Selena Gomez.
"Take a look at the activity on the president's wall: 250 people 'Liked' his high score in Bejeweled Blitz - really?" said CAP News technology consultant Ronald Wayne as he scanned Obama's Facebook page. "Another 175 'Liked' his high score in Word Challenge - I mean, he didn't even break 10,000. Is that truly worthy of a Like?"
Research by Wayne and the CAP News Password Hacking Team traced hundreds of accounts back to so-called Internet sweatshops in places like Cambodia and Laos, where children as young as nine years old spend their days in front of up to half a dozen computers earning pennies on the click. CAP News was easily able to correlate surges in activity on President Obama's social media profiles with a similar drop in productivity in other areas.
"The same day his Had a bran mufin for bfast [sic] tweet went viral and was retweeted hundreds of times, Nike reported their top selling shoes were on back order due to production issues," said CAP News economic analyst Luke Isley. "So not only is he abusing technology for personal gain, but he's doing it at the expense of the economy - the very reason why his ratings are so low to begin with."
For their part, Gallup reports they will not issue adjusted poll numbers, that the plus or minus 25% variance accounts for these types of scenarios. "Besides, any lower would put him in George W territory and he's not that bad, right?" said one Gallup official. "Right?"
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