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LA Dodgers Sold At Flea Market For $25
LOS ANGELES (CAP) - The off-field drama surrounding the Los Angeles Dodgers took an unexpected twist today when Major League Baseball officials confirmed rumors that the team was indeed sold this weekend to a Pasadena woman as part of a bagful of items she purchased at a local flea market. The woman said she plans to give the team to her grandson.
"Oh, I don't have any use for a professional base ball team and my husband would kill me if I came home with something else we don't need," the unidentified 69-year-old woman told CAP News. "But my 7-year-old grandson's birthday is coming up and I've been stumped on what to get him. This is perfect.
"Plus, I was able to talk the nice man down from $30, which struck me as just a little bit too much," added the woman.
It's unclear how the Melrose Trading Post merchant came into possession of the team in the first place, the ownership documents for which were found tucked inside the sleeve of a 1994 Ini Kamoze album. When contacted by CAP News, the seller would only say he's "just a vendor being a vendor" and trying to recoup some of his own financial loss after the team filed for bankruptcy in late June.
"My office has approved the sale, which included a five-piece Tupperware set, a painted ceramic ashtray, and a nice wall hanging that will look good over the fireplace," said Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig. "None of which will help the team climb out of the NL West cellar, but whaddya gonna do. One problem at a time."
Reaction to the sale in the Los Angeles community has been mostly positive, with a large group of fans already planning a Franks For The Memories going away party this weekend for former owner Frank McCourt. Festivities will include a McCourt effigy pinata, a raffle for the starting Shortstop job, and fried dough.
"And there's also a dunk tank where people can place bets on how many throws it'll take Lance Cormier to dunk McCourt," said one organizer. "We'll start that early because it'll probably take most of the day. Whatever keeps him off the mound."
However, some front office personnel expressed disappointment at the news, wondering if McCourt's departure would mean an end to the many fun activities that made working for him bearable. They pointed to the loss of Wet T-Shirt Wednesdays after Jamie McCourt, Frank's ex-wife, stopped coming around the office as an example.
"But regardless of who the owner is, we're still planning on Throw In The Towel Thursday for when our boys are officially eliminated from the playoffs," said one worker. "Assuming, of course, it happens on a Thursday. Although a Tuesday might work."
CAP News caught up with recently fired community relations staffer Steve Garvey as he ran off copies of his resume at a nearby Staples, where he said he hopes to woo the new owner into hiring him back. To that end, he produced a tattered 1970 rookie card of himself that he picked up at a yard sale, an Orel Hershiser bobblehead doll, and a glove he stole from Ron Cey after the 1978 season.
"What 7-year-old kid wouldn't want this loot!" Garvey said. "Hey, while you're here, will you sign this petition to have my number retired by the Dodgers?"
Attendance at the Melrose Trading Post is expected to double in the coming weeks with people looking to buy sports teams on the cheap, but officials note one seller has been trying to unload the Los Angeles Clippers for three years without any luck.