Sunday | April 19, 2015
Tara Reid Resurrects Career With 'Human Centipede 2'
It's human. And it's a centipede. There's nothing gross about that.

HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - Its plot is being kept strictly under wraps, but word leaked this week that party girl actress Tara Reid is looking forward to a career-boosting comeback with her role in Human Centipede 2.

"It's been a while since I've really stretched in a role," admitted Reid, who struck box office gold with American Pie and Urban Legend but lately has found herself in straight-to-DVD fare like 7-10 Split, Unnatural Causes and The Girl With The Raging Taboo.

"They told me that last one was based on a famous book series, but it turns out they meant the title just sort of sounded like one," she said, adding that she can't quite remember who "they" were.

Reid hopes to salvage her career in the sequel to last year's surprise cult favorite Human Centipede, about a mad scientist who sews his victims together to create a grotesque creature with a single digestive track. "I didn't see the first one, but I heard it made a really deep statement about people who turn other people into human centipedes," said Reid.

Reid declined to explain her role in Human Centipede 2, other than to say her character's name ("The Middle One") offers a clue. "I'm just starting to get feeling back in my mouth," she added.

Some have wondered why Human Centipede needed a sequel, given that it was almost universally derided as disgusting, amoral and not especially successful at the box office. But the film's producers say a sequel was a must.

"This was a story that demanded to be continued," explained Martin Shafer, president of Martin Shafer's Straight-to-DVD Movie Production Co., who recently stepped down as CEO of Castle Rock Entertainment when his Shawshank Redemption buddy comedy failed to materialize.

"There were so many unanswered questions from the first movie," Shafer continued. "Like, what do they do after they become a human centipede? And, after they become a human centipede, what is it that they do, as a centipede who's human?"

Asked point blank if he saw the original movie, Shafer paused for several seconds and then admitted that he didn't. "But I watched the trailer many times after I greenlit the sequel," he said.

For her part, Reid says that although she may have once had a reputation as an irresponsible party girl, acting is her first love and she has every intention of using her high-profile role in Human Centipede 2 to propel her back to stardom, or at least the version of stardom she had back in the early 2000s.

"A woman cannot live by beer pong alone," said Reid. "Shakespeare said that. I know because I did that movie where Shakespeare battles that giant Octopus."

Reid is possibly referring to the 2009 straight-to-YouTube release "Shakespeare vs. Giant Octopus," but it's impossible to be sure.

- CAP News Staff

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Organizers of the 150th Anniversary Lincoln Assassination Reenactment say in hindsight, it may not have been a good idea to have Nicki Minaj perform "Bang Bang" «» Ashton Kutcher says he's honored but confused why President Obama would appoint him the next Defense Secretary, but is glad to have something lined up now that 'Two And A Half Men' is over «» Massachusetts courts upholds conversion therapy law that allows Red Sox fans to seek professional help for spouses who are Yankees fans «» Hillary Clinton says if elected president, she will provide everyone free email accounts on her private server, complete with 2GB of storage «» Major League Baseball implements two-drink minimum at all stadiums to help fans forget just how much time they're spending at the park for a single game «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «» NSA offers voucher to Israel for free course on spying and other illicit surveillance to help them not get caught next time «» NFL announces plans not to broadcast half a dozen Oakland Raiders games next season, offers cash prizes for anyone who notices which ones «» Starbucks nixes plans to raise awareness of racial inequality by allowing patrons to only purchase drinks that match the color of their skin «» Audubon Society reports birds returning to Massachusetts for spring are "confused as shit" and not sure where to go until it warms up «»