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"Sarah Palin's America" Debuts On History Channel

NEW YORK (CAP) - Tonight at 9pm local time, The History Channel will air the first episode of a new series called Sarah Palin's America, which will chronicle the Republican luminary's travels around the United States as she imparts her vast knowledge of the country's rich history and varied culture. Network executives call it a "win-win" for the American people.
"Sarah Palin has a lot to say and we are lucky to be able to capture that on film and present it unedited exactly the way it was meant to be seen," said History Channel Vice President of Development and Programming Dirk Hoogstra. "Sarah Palin will help us all discover the America we never knew."
Network officials are also hyping the "perfect timing" of the new show, noting that as schools let out for the summer, Sarah Palin will help keep the educational experience alive for America's youth right up until school starts again in the fall. "She's a one-woman Sylvan Learning Center," added Hoogstra.
The National Education Association released a brief statement imploring The History Channel "not to do us any favors."
A promotional trailer for the show includes the ex-governor discussing how she will be touring America, "tearing down the facade of falsity that is the foundation fabricated by our forefathers." She then also takes square aim at critics who point out that she's hardly qualified to share a recipe for baked chicken, let alone the events that shaped our nation.
"I've got my trusty Funk & Wagnalls almanacs so I know what I'm talking about," Palin says in the trailer. "Now granted the last one I have is 1963, and I haven't finished it yet, but I know those events like they happened yesterday.
"Will Kennedy be able to overcome the Bay of Pigs thingie to win re-election?" Palin adds. "I'll let ya know as soon as 1964 arrives, you betcha."
In the pilot episode, Palin expands upon her lecture in Boston, during which she explained how Paul Revere actually rode through the streets of that historic city to warn the British at the start of the Revolutionary War. She notes that calling it the midnight ride of Paul Revere is a bit of a misnomer as it was "really more like 10 o'clock" because all the TV stations went off the air after midnight and everyone would have been in bed.
"It's like when Christopher Columbus came over on the Mayflower so he could warn the Indians that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms even if they scalped us or cooked us with carrots and potatoes in giant black cauldrons," Palin says.
Palin also offers her take on other wars in a segment called, "That's not how Sarah sees it." It includes wisdom such as how the Franco-American war pitted America's love for SpaghettiO's against the Beefaroni marketing giant Chef Boyardee, among other things.
"Did the North win the Civil War because they had a bigger army or better guns? No, the North won the Civil War because they were fighting downhill," Palin shares in the first episode. "Had we learned our lessons from the Civil War, we would have known there was no way we could win the Vietnam War."
Sarah Palin's America has been signed for a 22-episode run as part of The History Channel's new wave of "alternative reality TV" programming.
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