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Gays Remind Kobe Bryant He's Still Black
LOS ANGELES (CAP) - Leaders of the gay community continue to express shock and dismay over the recent incident involving Los Angeles Laker Kobe Bryant and his use of a mid-game homophobic slur directed at one of the referees. Gay activists say it's not so much what was said that bothers them, but rather who said it that is of concern.
"Oh, sister, please - we get called those names all the time," said Richie Trent of the San Francisco-based Queers R Us. "But last time I checked, Kobe Bryant was still black, so I'm not sure where he gets off ranking on anybody, quite frankly."
Other gay supporters echoed QRU's sentiments, noting that the avocation of gay bashing historically has been handled by younger, white, straight males with no appreciable oppression of their own. They say Bryant's outburst has done little to increase his people's chances of hailing a taxicab after 10pm on any given night.
"Let's face it - no one sees a black man on the street at that hour and thinks he's heading home from a fun night of trivia with the lads," said CAP News black affairs correspondent Jeff Townes. "Kobe Bryant could help change all that, if he could just find some time between sexually assaulting women in hotel rooms and cheating on his wife.
"The life of a black male role model is very demanding," added Townes. "Just ask Tiger Woods."
However, the American Civil Liberties Union, long the eccentric advocate of the skeptically downtrodden, notes that every member of a subjugated minority plays a specific function in their 23-step process to restore that group's inalienable rights. For Kobe Bryant, that job entails showing ineffectual inner city students the untold riches and fame that can be obtained without the need for a college education.
"I would argue that if a black man is comfortable enough tearing down another minority, then we've done our job," said ACLU spokesman Harry Wellsburg. "Five decades later and finally blacks don't feel like they're on the bottom rung of the ladder anymore.
"Gay is the new black," added Wellsburg. "Of course, Muslim is the new gay, but let's just take it one persecuted minority at a time. [George Orwell's book] Animal Farm's got nothing on American society."
Reaction from the black community has been mixed, with stalwarts like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton noting that Bryant's membership in the Oppressed Black Guys club was revoked after he earned his first $100 million. Jackson even went so far as to lay some of the blame at President Obama's feet.
"Ever since we voted a black man president, it seems like the black youth of America think they have some sort of presidential privilege," said Jackson. "It's like when George Dubya was voted into office - all the kids riding the blue bus to school held their helmet-clad heads a little bit higher that day."
Meanwhile, the nation's contingent of black men who also happen to be gay released a statement expressing support for their homosexual brethren and asking Shelden Williams if he's doing anything after Friday's Knicks game.
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