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STATE POLITICS

NJ Bill Slaps Parents For Neglecting Child Photo-Ops
NJ Bill Slaps Parents For Neglecting Child Photo-Ops

TRENTON, NJ (CAP) - New Jersey Senate Majority Leader Barbara Buono (D, 18th District) has introduced a bill to the state senate which would redefine the terms of the state's current child abuse and neglect laws.

Under the proposed law, the definition of neglect would be expanded and grant the state the right to investigate parents who were found not to have a sufficient number of photos of their children available through their Facebook, Flickr, or other photo-sharing accounts.

Buono says she was inspired to draft the bill after witnessing a troubling incident at her daughter's gymnastic meet in which a gymnast completed a near-perfect balance beam routine and her parents failed to record it.

"Today's technology makes it incredibly easy to document the important events in a child's life," said Buono. "You don't even need a separate camera or video, it's all built into your phone. So why aren't parents better utilizing it? This girl's parents, they were just ... just sitting there. Cheering. I was astounded; I was angered.

"How else is that poor girl going to remember such a monumental day?" Buono continued, visibly shaken. "How are those parents going to share that moment with their Facebook friends? They can't. So now, tell me, how is that girl ever going to know her parents are proud of her? Every child deserves at least that."

The proposed legislation is not without controversy. As debate continues over what constitutes sufficient documentation, civil liberties groups have already condemned the bill for encroaching on the rights of the individual.

NJ Bill Slaps Parents For Neglecting Child Photo-Ops
Sen. Barbara Buono

Spokesman for the New Jersey chapter of the ACLU, David Britton, says the government is overstepping its boundaries and as such, the organization is prepared to file a lawsuit against the state should the bill be signed into law.

"Sure, parents could spend the course of their child's T-ball game snapping pictures and taking videos, fiddling with batteries and camera settings and all that," Britton said in a recent interview with CAP News. "But what about the parents who don't want to miss that moment, that wonderful moment when they finally have time to send a text or a Tweet or make a phone call?

"Have you ever sat through a T-ball game?" Britton continued. "It's boring as hell. The fact that the government thinks it can force you to watch and take pictures throughout is absurd."

Parents appear to be divided on the issue as well. Melissa Gallagher, a mother of three from Newark, says she thinks the bill is long overdue.

"My friend took her family to Disney World last fall and barely took any pictures," said Gallagher. "She said she was too busy doing to be recording.

"It breaks my heart for those children," Gallagher continued, breaking down in tears. "They have nothing to remember it by. Nothing."

Debbie Vance, mother of two, disagreed. "My son's hockey game is when I call my sister in Arizona," she said. "Why should I have to get off the phone to take pictures? Ridiculous."

The senate is expected to vote on the measure before a spring recess in April.

- CAP News Staff
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Disney has crowned its newest official princess, a somewhat short and stocky stringy-haired character named Frumpy Fran. "The life and accomplishments of all the other princesses are way too unachievable for little girls," said a spokesperson. "Fran is basically the princess from the projects, which more girls can relate to." «» A local auction house is accepting bids on a rock that came from astronaut Neil Armstrong's shoe. "No, it's not a moon rock or anything like that," said a spokesperson. "I think it got stuck in his shoe while he was working in his garden. But what a conversation piece!" «» Investigators in Boston have uncovered some key evidence at the site of Monday's explosions: a piece of intact resolve in the debris. "We're still determining the origins of the resolve, but one thing's certain," said an FBI source. "This shit wasn't made in China. This is 100% pure American resolve." «» The U.S. Supreme Court has handed down a decision on same-sex marriages, voting 5-4 that "all marriage is gay." Writing for the majority, Justice Anthony Kennedy questioned why anyone would voluntarily choose a situation that involves dealing with in-laws on a regular basis, noting that "having in-laws is so queer." «» Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries has caved to the backlash against his discriminatory marketing, saying he will open a new store called Abercrombie & Fatso. "I'm telling you right now, plus sizes means plus prices," he said. "But I think if anyone can make fat people cool, it's me." «» With the White House under fire from numerous directions, press secretary Jay Carney dropped his usual demeanor to tell reporters to "fucking back the fuck off" and that he was "sick of answering dumb-ass questions." He then threatened to have the IRS "personally audit every single one of you fucks." «» Parental advisory groups are up in arms over the naming of the new One Direction sports drink, simply called OD. "Other than their obvious lack of originality, it's the slogan we don't like," said Mothers Against Everything. "Have You OD'ed Today? isn't exactly the message we should be sending children." «» Researchers at Johns Hopkins University say they have isolated the hormone Honkytonkin, found predominantly in white males from Southern states. The protein is one of a new group of complex redneck carbohydrates similar genetically to white trash peptides and has the same molecular structure as cheap beer. «» U.S. logging industry officials say these days, loggers are chopping down trees "just because" it's all they know how to do. "With the ailing housing market, dying newspaper industry and paperless billing, people aren't using as many trees," said one contractor. "Maybe some day people will need more fence posts." «» The battle between Rush Limbaugh and WABC heated up as the radio station blamed low ad revenues on Rush's sobriety. "Nobody gives a crap about his politics anymore," said a source. "What they want to hear is the crazy-ass shit he says when he's all hopped up on prescription drugs." «»