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FOOTBALL
NFL Players Banned From Sexting During Games
NEW YORK (CAP) - As the NFL begins its crackdown on dangerous and flagrant hits with fines and suspensions comes word from the commissioner's office that players are now restricted from texting sexually explicit messages or photographs during games. Commissioner Roger Goodell says the act of sexting has steadily been degrading the quality of game play.
"At first it was just a few sporadic instances during halftime in locker rooms - and frankly, who am I to question how they get pumped up for the second half of a game," Goodell said during a press conference to announce the ban. "But then it was during TV timeouts, and players on the sidelines in between downs - and then the Brett Favre thing."
The 'Brett Favre thing' involves new allegations that the embattled quarterback spent an inordinate amount of time sexting in the huddle rather than calling plays. CAP News sources inside the Minnesota Vikings front office say the younger players were often confused going to the line because Favre had called for "the cock shot" in the huddle, but they couldn't recall having learned that play during practice.
"Yeah, Favre ruined it for all of us," said one Vikings player who asked not to be identified. "How do you think he got [Randy] Moss to jump ship on the Patriots so easily and come back here?"
Those sources also tell CAP News that team doctors have identified Favre's recent arm issues as Perpendicular Epicokylitis, an injury more commonly known as sexting elbow. Doctors also surmise that the increase in the number of concussions among NFL players and rise in incidents of sexting is no coincidence.
"These players, they don't have their head in the game, so to speak, because they're too busy thinking about that last sext they got, or the next one they're gonna send - and then they get steamrolled," said Dr. Hunt Batjer, co-chairman of the NFL's Brain, Head and Neck Medical Committee. "There's a time and a place for sexting, and it's not on fourth and one.
"Third and long, maybe, or if you're the extra wideout in an I formation," added Batjer. "But not in a goal line situation."
Football experts say sexting is to today's players what endzone celebrations were a decade ago: simply a way of showing off a little bit after scoring. Or perhaps showing off a little bit because they're trying to score. Either way, experts agree the commissioner's office may be overreacting a bit.
"Where once Terrell Owens pulled a Sharpie out of his sock after scoring a touchdown, now he pulls it out of his pants," said CAP News sports editor Herm Winningham. "It's not like players are out there on the field sexually assaulting underage girls.
"Well, not during home games, anyway," added Winningham.
Winningham said that perhaps New England quarterback Tom Brady wouldn't have fathered so many babies during the Patriots Superbowl victories a few years back had sexting been a little more prevalent as a means of self expression, rather than the actual act of sex itself. He did note that some veteran players who "can't get out of the '90s" still prefer to talk dirty on the phone, "and they don't even *69 first."
Although the ban is effective immediately, the players' union is expected to file a formal complaint with the league, requesting that players on injured reserve who don't dress for a game still be allowed to sext from the sidelines.
Meanwhile, Favre said his elbow hurts "real bad-like" and he thinks he may be done for the year.
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