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ELECTION 2010

New '4 To 7' Political Party Rides Wave Of Idiocy
4 To 7 member Kate Jones (6) discusses her party's platform during a recent speech.
New "4 To 7" Political Party Rides Wave Of Idiocy

STERLING, Vir. (CAP) - Buoyed by the growing success of an increasing number of candidates aligning themselves outside the standard Republican and Democratic ranks, a new political party has begun to emerge that tosses traditional politics on its head. The "4 To 7" party is quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with in the fall elections.

"People think we're the Tea Party but we're not," said 4 To 7 Party chairman Larry Flynn. "In fact, we have nothing to do with the Tea Party. That said, a lesson learned from the Tea Party movement did pave the way for the creation of 4 To 7, so we do owe them a nod."

According to the group's charter, the basic tenet of the party's philosophy is to nominate and promote women for public office who are considered "moderately hot." Flynn said that only women who fall in the four-to-seven range on an attractiveness scale of one to ten can run as members of the party because of their high probability of winning their elections.

"See, it doesn't matter what she says, how stupid or unqualified she is to hold office - if she is moderately hot, she will win," said Flynn. "It's what the American people want in their elected officials - moderately hot, stupid broads."

Political pundits have only just begun to weigh in on the 4 To 7 party's approach to the political landscape, but some like Cossatot Community College chancellor Steven Cole think it was just a matter of time before a political party exploited this trait that everyone has but nobody wants to admit to having.

New '4 To 7' Political Party Rides Wave Of Idiocy
4 To 7 member Leann Orly (7)

"We could care less about whether or not our politicians are qualified, experienced, or even moderately intelligent," said Cole. "What we want them to be is attainable. That's the genius of the 4 To 7 movement.

"Women that are too attractive - eights, nines, tens - are too out of reach, and the ones through threes are just too homely," Cole noted. "But those middle-of-the-packers are perfect. Men feel they could date them, women feel they could be them. Everyone will vote for them."

Others have echoed Cole's sentiments, likening the trend to the way Silly Bands have tapped into a latent desire among America's youth. CNBC analyst Kate Ferguson has taken it a step further and gone so far as to say that a little crazy goes a long way for a successful campaign.

"No one can relate to a smarty-pants," said Ferguson. "But if she's a little bit out there, it allows people to focus less what she's saying and more on how she's looking. Male voters want elected officials they would like to do; women want elected officials they could be pals with. It's win, win, win, win!"

While the phenomenon of the attractive female politician appears to be relatively modern, political historians say the roots of this approach date back as far as Revolutionary times. Yale University political science professor Grayson Vaughn notes that Thomas Jefferson was considered a six at best, and Susan B. Anthony a four.

"Even Pocahontas was a seven," said Vaughn. "This is just history repeating itself."

- CAP News Staff
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