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Umpire Joyce Accidentally Runs Over 'Perfect' Pitcher
DETROIT (CAP) - Disgraced MLB umpire Jim Joyce made his second major faux pas in a week's time yesterday, apparently hitting the gas instead of the brake in his 2002 Chevy Blazer and running over Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga as he left Comerica Park.
"I don't know how it happened," said a teary-eyed Joyce afterward. "I had a really good angle on the pedals, and I would have swore it was the brake."
"I say many times: Nobody's perfect," Galarraga said from his bed at Detroit's Henry Ford Hospital, where he was being treated for multiple contusions. "Everybody makes a mistake. Unfortunately this one leave me out for the rest of the season, but I'm sure he no want to run me over, probably."
Galarraga and Joyce of course made headlines last week when Joyce blew a crucial call at first base, robbing Galarraga of a perfect game with just one out to go in the ninth inning. The Detroit community has since rallied around Galarraga, with GM even presenting him with a brand new 2001 convertible.
"Unfortunately Jim [Joyce] backed into it at full speed after he run me over," noted Galarraga, who said the car is now totaled. "But again, he just make a mistake. Like I make a mistake when I got out of bed that day, apparently."
"I had a really good angle on [Galarraga's car] in my rear view mirror, and I would have swore it wasn't there," said Joyce, dabbing his eyes and large, fu-manchu style moustache.
It seems the incident is just the latest in a series of unfortunate encounters between the two men; it came out last week that in 2008, Joyce had advised Galarraga to invest heavily in HD-DVD, a move that eventually cost Galarraga hundreds of thousands of dollars.
"That one still smarts," admitted Galarraga. "But how could he know people will like Blu-ray better?"
"Blu-ray - who knew?" said Joyce, now openly weeping.
Meanwhile, calls to MLB Commissioner Bud Selig to reverse the call and award Galarraga his perfect game have yet to abate. Congressman John D. Dingell (D-MI), has even introduced a Congressional Resolution urging Selig to do so.
"I figure if I can pull that off, maybe all the voters in Detroit will forget they don't have jobs," said Dingell.
As for Joyce, his bad-luck streak continues. Invited this week as a special guest officiator at the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C., Joyce insisted Elena Wong, 12, of Forest Hill, N.J. had misspelled "bouleversement," when subsequent replays showed she hadn't.
"That girl worked her butt off, and I cost her the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee championship!" lamented Joyce afterwards, in between disconsolate sobs.
Wong, for her part, was not as diplomatic as Galarraga in her assessment of Joyce's actions. "What an asshole," she said.
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