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SOUTH AFRICA (CAP) - The discovery of two apparently 1.9 million-year-old fossils by paleontologists in South Africa is just the latest example of God's creativity in placing skeletons of creatures that didn't exist into the Earth's crust when he created it about 6,000 years ago, say creationists.
"It really is something," said Bob Henderson of the Institute for Creation Research. "This is how much care God took in creating the Earth - He included an amazing diversity of fossils representing ancient humans and other creatures that never existed, just to keep us guessing.
"Oh, that wacky deity," said Henderson.
Creationists, who believe the planet's species were each designed specifically by God rather than having developed gradually over millions of years through evolution, have different explanations as to the existence of the fossil record.
"The most obvious explanation is that He placed them there to test our faith, and that those who believe them to be evidence that humans descended from apes will burn in eternal hellfire," said Henderson. "But it also shows how He had a sense of humor. I mean have you seen some of those old skeletons? They're hilarious."
Asked about scientists' assertions that the newly discovered skeletons represent a link between apes and early humans, Henderson just shook his head and said, "Scientists! We haven't agreed with them on anything since the last Ice Age movie came out."
Asked about the fossils' discovery while at a Tea Party rally in Sheboygan, Wisc., Republican luminary Sarah Palin pooh-poohed scientists' attempt to insist that they "you know, mean something."
"Hey scientists - how's that naturally-selectiony thing workin' out for ya?" she asked. "Personally I don't know how anyone can believe in the theory that human beings like myself could have come from a creature with such a small brain," she added, apparently without irony.
"I'm not so sure about those waddayacallem atoms, either," said Palin.
The new discovery adds fuel to an ongoing fire about how creationists explain evidence of early man and creatures like dinosaurs. But Henderson denied his group's views were controversial, noting that the Bible mentions beasts like "behemoths" that could have been large reptiles.
"They lived right alongside man, and their fossils just seem millions of years old because they probably got shifted around in the soil when God laughed or sneezed or something," said Henderson. "I'm just saying."
In response to the creationists' reaction to the discovery of the new skeletons, prominent atheists Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens all appeared on comedian and commentator Bill Maher's HBO show Real Time, where they all had simultaneous aneurysms.
"I hear the video's already gone virusy on YouTube!" noted Palin.
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