HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - News that Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock's husband Jesse James cheated on her with tattoo model and amateur porn star Michelle "Bombshell" McGee threatens to damage the reputation of trashy tattooed women everywhere, according to some prominent skanks.
"It's bullcrap! Now everywhere I go, people look at me like I'm some kind of nasty pig," said Tawny Chmielewski, 32, an exotic dancer from Bayone, N.J., who has tattoos of snakes, skulls and bleeding hearts covering both arms and legs and flames shooting up the side of her neck. "Even more than usual, I mean."
Chmielewski's concerns are well grounded, according to a new study out of the Pew Research Center.
"The approval rating for trashy skanks has dropped six points in the past week," noted Dr. Francis Spitznagel, who conducted a flash poll on the subject at the Pew Center. "It went from 8 percent all the way down to 2."
But Chmielewski and others like her say that just because McGee carried on an affair with the husband of America's sweetheart and took $30,000 from In Touch Weekly to dish about it doesn't mean that all women with full-body tattoos and breast implants are similarly skanky.
"I know I don't shack up with just anybody," said Chmielewski. "He has to be hot and well-endowed, and have some bitchin' tats." Asked if she would sleep with a married man, she replied, "No effin way! Well ... it kind of depends on his tats."
Fred Shambertz, editor of In Touch Weekly, also defended McGee, noting that James had indicated to the tattoo model the he and Bullock were separated. "Michelle is the victim in all this," said Shambertz. "The skanky, fake-breasted tattooed victim who got paid $30,000 to talk about her sex life."
Shambertz's also defended his magazine's role in destroying Bullock's marriage and embarrassing her so soon after her Best Actress Oscar win.
"News is news," said Shambertz. "Nobody blames the New York Times for reporting on the health care crisis or the war in Iraq. By the way, did you see our exclusive story on how Lindsay Lohan ordered ten massaging body sponges from Empire Labs to send to friends and family?"
According to Dr. Spitznagel, the approval rating for In Touch Weekly has also dropped in the past week, from 2 percent to 1.
Meanwhile, McGee's image took another hit this weekend when photos of her wearing a "Nazi bikini" surfaced on the Web, accompanied by rumors that she has several white supremacist tattoos among her hundreds of others. The disclosure led America's Neo-Nazi organizations to immediately distance themselves from the model.
"We have no desire to be lumped in with the likes of her," said Rocky J. Suhayda of the American Nazi Party. "We do have some standards."
- CAP News Staff