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CHARITY
Biden Stiffs Girl Scouts Out Of Hard-Earned Cash
WASHINGTON (CAP) - Vice President Joe Biden is in hot water with the Girl Scouts of America organization today after reportedly trying to obtain some boxes of cookies from a group of Brownies without paying for them. While the Obama administration called it a "misunderstanding," Girl Scout officials aren't buying it.
"First he said he left his wallet in his other pants and that they were in the wash," said Troop 60548 member 8-year-old Sarah Paquette. "Then he said his stimulus check hadn't arrived yet and that he'd catch [us] on the flip side. Whatever that means."
According to other members of the troop, the vice president already had three boxes of cookies in his hands when he made the statements and as Paquette confronted him about paying for them, Biden reportedly tried to close the door on the girls. During the ensuing struggle that saw Paquette's foot get slammed repeatedly in the doorway, Biden is alleged to have told the girls to "back off - I'm the vice president, I'm good for it!"
"The vice president sorely regrets having called four members of Girl Scout Troop 60548 little cretins during the scenario that unfolded earlier this week," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "But at no time was Mr. Biden in possession of cookies for which he had not paid. The little cretins are simply lying."
Despite the backhanded apology, Girl Scout leaders from around the country are voicing their opposition to the Obama administration's handling of cookie season, which has seen both a decline in sales as well as a recall of Lemon Chalet Creme cookies. Republican luminary Sarah Palin spoke out against Girl Scout cookie injustices during her recent appearance on The Tonight Show.
"Jay, nobody understands the plight of the cookie boxers more than the tea partiers and we need to work together toward our common cause, you betcha," Palin told host Jay Leno. "Having a tea party without cookies is like fileting a salmon without a knife. It can be done, Jay - I've done it a million times - but it's just not as fun. And your fingers smell like fish.
"And that's what the Obama administration wants, Jay," Palin added. "They want your fingers to smell like fish. Well we need to stop sitting around smelling our fingers and wash our hands, Jay. We need to wash our hands."
Following news of the cookie sale fracas, other charitable organizations have started coming forward to claim mistreatment at the hands of the vice president during various fundraising efforts. Among the groups seeking an apology are the Boy Scouts of America, who claim Biden likes Girl Scout cookies "more than our over-priced popcorn tins."
"One time I saw him put a five in the collection plate at church - and then he took back three dollars in change," said one Wilmington, Del. churchgoer who asked not to be identified. "What does he think, he's Protestant?"
After being hounded for two days by various media outlets, Vice President Biden has vowed to be more supportive of the Girl Scouts and other local charitable organizations going forward. He was later overheard telling an aide that "this job isn't as easy as I thought it was."
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