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Rush Slams God For Dithering, Failed Leadership
NEW YORK (CAP) - Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh has taken his recent rant against President Barack Obama to a new level and has now launched a verbal assault on the Lord Almighty Himself. During a second interview with Fox News' Chris Wallace, Limbaugh lambasted God for various shortcomings and a lack of attentiveness.
"The creator in which we're all endowed? What does that mean?" Limbaugh railed during the as-yet-unaired interview. "I'm not a black man; I'm not very well endowed. Every human being looks different. How can we all possibly be made in His image?
"Sending your son Jesus down to Earth to 'check things out' and then watching him get strung up on a cross and doing nothing - what's that about?" Limbaugh continued uninterrupted. "This may sound controversial, but I don't think He really cares. I don't think God cares what happens here on Earth."
When Wallace asked Limbaugh his thoughts on the Son of God, the Republican talking head said Jesus Christ was "pompous, a bit of a windbag, and wrong."
Limbaugh's rant against the Supreme Being went on for just shy of 30 minutes and remained relatively unchecked by Wallace, who at one point was caught by the camera massaging the corns on Limbaugh's chapped, dry feet. Pundits say even when Wallace did push Limbaugh on certain topics, his questions were "as soft as that man's heels after applying the moisturizer."
"I don't recall voting, but apparently Rush is now the de facto head of the human race," said The Nation magazine editor Katrina Vanden Heuvel. "Guess he didn't learn anything from Pat Robertson. Rush is headstrong, a head case, and headed to hell.
"Say hi to Karl Rove when you get there," Vanden Heuvel added.
At one point during the interview, Limbaugh looked as if he was going to spontaneously combust, so Fox News producers did pause it momentarily to allow him to down some painkillers. Limbaugh then proceeded to call out God for "treating Earth like a giant game of Yoville" and "trying to placate human suffering by sending us a black chair with ottoman."
"Let me put it to you this way. The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost all wrapped into one?" Limbaugh said. "I think he's narcissistic, has an out of this world ego, and can't possibly have created this entire place in seven days.
"I mean, it takes longer than that to get a contractor to come install a wood floor for crying out loud," Limbaugh noted.
The Rush Limbaugh interview will air on a future Fox News Sunday program when the Republicans are in need of some slanderous press in order to push an anti-Christian agenda for political gain.
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