Wednesday | July 1, 2015
Jimmy Carter Blames Obama Nobel Prize On Racism
Recent photo of Jimmy Carter suggests the former president may have lost a step or two.

PLAINS, Ga. (CAP) - Former President Jimmy Carter says the unexpected awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama may be the direct result of lingering racism on the part of the Norwegian Nobel Committee.

"It took me more than 20 years of diplomatic work after my failed presidency to get my Nobel Prize," noted Carter. "President Obama is only 10 months into his failed presidency, so there's no other logical explanation."

Asked who the Norwegian Nobel Committee might be exhibiting their racial prejudice against, Carter said he "hadn't worked that part out yet."

"But let's just say that if Israel is behind this, I wouldn't be surprised," he added.

Carter is hardly the only observer to express concern over the committee's choice of Obama for the prestigious award. U2 lead singer Bono was reportedly "shocked" at being passed over in favor of Obama, and immediately suspended his band's current tour to return to Africa, where he'll work "even harder" on debt relief and reducing the spread of AIDS.

"Blast that feckin' Obama - I've done more for starving kids in Africa than he's ever done, even if he was born there," said Bono, who admitted he probably shouldn't have given up his charity work to devote himself to rock and roll debauchery.

"And the debauchery hasn't even worked out for him, as I feckin' predicted," said U2 guitarist The Edge. "Every time he asks some Molly if she wants to come back after the show and see his 'giant claw,' he turns into a feartie-cat and runs back to his wife."

On the right, many have pointed to Norway's prevalent left-leaning views as the reason the committee picked Obama.

"A bunch of socialists over there, no doubt about that," said Fox News commentator Glenn Beck. "I say if Norway loves Obama so much, they ought to marry him."

Then he took that comment back, noting such a marriage would be "unnatural and fly in the face of God and country." Then he gesticulated wildly, and cried.

Still, many say Obama is more than deserving of the honor, and the awards keep pouring in. For instance, the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences announced this week that Obama would be this year's recipient of the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award, for "creative producers whose bodies of work reflect a consistently high quality of motion picture production."

"I told them I'd never, you know, made a movie," said Obama. "They said that's okay, they figured I'd get around to it eventually.

"And when I do, it will be good," he said, flashing his winning presidential smile.

- CAP News Staff

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Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» World Trade Organization approves putting 'Country Of Origin' labels on immigrants coming into the US to help Americans better target their discrimination «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «»