Friday | March 29, 2024
Tufts: Sex Allowed Only If Roommate Is Probably Asleep
A poll by the Tufts student newspaper found that coeds need someplace to have sex if their roommates are awake.

MEDFORD, Mass. (CAP) - Under pressure from students and civil liberties organizations, Tufts University has altered its policy regarding dorm-room sexual behavior, saying that it will now be allowed if the student is "reasonably certain" his or her roommate is asleep.

"And we mean really sound asleep, with snoring and possibly drooling," said the Boston-area school's Assistant Director for Community and Interpersonal Affairs, Karen Ames-Arbuckle. "Stage 3 in the sleep cycle - none of this nodded-off-10-minutes-ago stuff."

The school came under fire recently for its rule forbidding sexual activity in rooms where roommates were present, with students calling it a violation of their civil rights.

"I can't believe the administration feels it's their place to tell me when and where I can sleep with my boyfriend, or a guy I meet at a party, or like a professor or whoever," said 'Donna,' a Tufts sophomore who asked not to use her real name.

"I mean, I'm probably not going to do it if my roommate's there anyway, or at least I'm going to do it quietly and, you know, discreetly," she said. "Unless I'm tanked in which case I get kinda loud."

But several watchdog groups have criticized Tufts' relaxation of the policy. "Frankly, they shouldn't be allowing sexual activity of any kind, much less in front of roommates," said Darlene Fortenski of Mothers Against Everything (MAE). "When I was in college at Rosemont, roommates didn't even change in front of each other, except for the lesbians," she pointed out, whispering the word lesbians.

But those seeking stricter policies face an uphill battle from groups like the American Civil Liberties Union.

"If we hear of one student disciplined for having sex with his or her roommate present, we will sue," warned ACLU spokesman Harry Wellsburg. "These are grown adults who should be allowed to have sex wherever they want, and also film it and show it in a public forum projected on to a picture of Jesus.

"Um, I mean hypothetically," he clarified.

And the student body definitely seems to subscribe more to the ACLU perspective than the more conservative MAE stance.

"I'm all for common courtesy, but I don't want my school involved in my sex life," said junior Josh Elkind, prompting his roommate Jason Knowlton to respond, "Dude, what sex life?" Elkind then called Knowlton a "retard" and administered several "noogies" to the top of his head.

Elkind did admit that since he made headlines for getting his iPod stuck in his nasal cavity, he hasn't dated much. Asked if he knew 'Donna,' he responded "Oh yeah, she's like a wicked slut." Then Elkind and Knowlton high-fived each other, and wrestled.

Told of that reaction, Ames-Arbuckle responded, "Now you know why we need these rules. These kids are social imbeciles."

- CAP News Staff

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