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BANGKOK (CAP) - Fresh off his trip to North Korea to help procure the release of two jailed American journalists, former President Bill Clinton has returned to southeast Asia for a surprise visit to the Kho Samui Brothel in Pattaya City, Thailand. He said it was great to be back at his old stomping grounds.
"I tell you what - these lovely ladies put old Monica to shame, that's for damn sure," Clinton told CAP News. "You want to talk about Asian women you wanna rescue and take home, let's talk about beautiful Tola here.
"I gave her more presidential pardons when I was in office than I could shake my stick at," Clinton added.
For their part, the women seemed genuinely excited to see the former commander-in-chief again, with many sharing tales of how they used to illegally cross his border and commit grave acts against his nation. Clinton said he could have named an ambassador to Thailand, but noted that "sometimes it's the president who's best equipped to handle international relations."
When the CAP News reporter asked Clinton if he had spent all of his time in Pattaya, or if he had ventured out to other areas like Patpong in Bangkok or Patong Beach in Phuket, the former president said he had visited both places. "Phuket? Been there, done that," he said.
Clinton's trip comes at a time when the bulk of the news out of Thailand revolves around tourists going there just for sex with underage boys and girls. He said he aims to show that there are plenty of legal-aged women for the taking and that while the American economy remains in the tank, the U.S. dollar still has plenty of purchasing power throughout Thailand.
"Once was the time when a supple young woman with lavender skin and beautiful black hair would run you two- to three-thousand baht," said economist Joseph Stiglitz. "But nowadays you can get the same sweet skank for two- to three-hundred, or under US$10.
"You can't even get a good bag of beef jerky for that price anymore," Stiglitz added.
Republican leaders are raising concerns over the message that Clinton's trip sends, calling the Democrats hypocritical for their denigration of So. Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, who claimed he was lost when he ended up in Argentina and found himself a mistress. They say Clinton should lead be example and "Do American."
"Listen, I don't leave the country when I need to find drugs for my various addictions," said conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh. "Well, unless you count the stuff I bought at www.drugs.com. Those guys may be Canadian."
Many pundits wonder what Clinton's trip means for other brothels and whorehouses around the world who also rely on a flow of Americans to stay afloat and whether he'll be packing his condoms to go save the world, one prostitute at a time.
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