Friday | September 4, 2015
Creationists, Scientists Team Up To Protest 'Ice Age'
Much to the satisfaction of all protestors, one scene involving the Flintstones ended up on the cutting room floor.

HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - In what is shaping up to be an unusual alliance, several prominent scientists and creationists have banded together to protest the new 20th Century Fox/Blue Sky Studios release, Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs.

"To include dinosaurs in a movie set 10,000 years ago, more than 25 million years after their extinction, is irresponsible from a scientific point of view," said renowned paleontologist Dr. Martin Sherman of Pennsylvania State University, during a demonstration outside the 20th Century Fox studios in Century City, Calif.

"Especially when dinosaurs are actually only about 4,500 years old," added Dr. John Warner, a noted creationist formerly of Eastern Kentucky University.

"Um ... We don't quite agree about that part," said Dr. Sherman, sheepishly.

The two camps had apparently planned separate peaceful demonstrations to protest the film's release, but wound up joining together when they both showed up on the same corner. And despite some initial conflicts, the two usually disparate groups blended quite well, according to those on the scene.

"At first I just assumed they would be closed-minded simpletons, but they're actually fine people," said Sherman of the creationists. "Except for the whole not believing in evolution thing.

"Also, all of their protest slogans have Bible verses in them, which we're not exactly 'up' on," said Sherman. "I still don't get that one they do about beholding the behemoth."

"Job 40:15," clarified Warner of the origin of the slogan in question, Behold now behemoth - he came with Noah, and so did woolly mammoth.

"We know behemoth and mammoth don't really rhyme, but let's face it, nothing rhymes with behemoth," he added. "We have that problem all the time with Bible verses at these protests ... Not much rhymes with abomination either."

Presented with the concerns from the two groups, Blue Sky Director of Marketing Sal Merkowicz said they should rest assured there's a logical explanation for including the dinosaurs in the new Ice Age, besides the plans to include their images on T-shirts, jewelry, tote bags, calendars, glowsticks (with lanyard) and other merchandise available at toy stores and fast-food restaurants.

"You'll notice in the movie that it's very clearly explained that the dinosaurs were frozen, or living in a lost underground world, or something like that," he said.

When asked if the film's writers were available to comment, Merkowicz stared blankly for several seconds and then responded, "Um ... I can have another director of marketing talk to you if you want."

Still, the protesters are undeterred. "All we know is, even though these are cartoons we're talking about, we believe they should present the facts accurately," said Dr. Sherman.

"It's true!" added Dr. Warner. "For instance, why not a movie that shows the dinosaurs on the ark with Noah?"

"Um ... Maybe because the tyrannosaurs would have eaten all the other animals, and Noah, and his entire family," responded Dr. Sherman.

"They were babies, and he had them in a wooden cage!" answered Warner, testily, shaking his head and adding simply, "Scientists!" Then they wrestled.

- CAP News Staff

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Los Angeles institutes Shower Shaming, asking residents to rat each other out if anyone wastes water and bathes more than once per week «» President Obama visits Alaska, vows to reunite cast of 'Northern Exposure' for show's 20th anniversary «» Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis now refuses to offer marriage licenses to straight couples, saying after three divorces she just doesn't believe in marriage at all anymore «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» Donald Trump is slamming White House plans to curb opioid addiction, saying it unfairly targets him and his supporters «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» New survey finds most parents of young adult terrorists long for the days when kids were more apathetic and just played video games «»