Monday | August 3, 2015
Newspaper Closings Rock Papier Mache Community
Many newspapers like the Boston Globe are taking desperate measures to prove their worth.

WASHINGTON (CAP) - As newspapers around the nation continue to fold, a CAP News investigation shows that the problems facing that industry are also causing plenty of "collateral damage" - and no one knows that better than the embattled papier mache community.

"For years, newspapers have provided a cheap and reliable source of the paper used for our projects," said Alison Fermeson, president of the Washington-based Papier Mache Society. "Let's face it, we're not going to go into Staples and buy 24-pound stock for our papier mache tiger masks, as cute and enjoyable as they are."

Also at risk, according to Fermeson, are such popular projects as globes - made by applying papier mache around a blown-up balloon - and funny long-eared dogs.

"I can tell you how we make the dogs, but then I'd have to kill you," said Fermeson, adding, "Just a little papier mache humor there."

The concerns come in the wake of complaints from America's puppy breeders, who say a newspaper shortage could severely impact public interest in the dogs they breed.

"In Denver, after the Rocky Mountain News went under, we saw an immediate dropoff," said Labrador retriever breeder Kevin McGill of Aurora, Colo., noting that potential dog owners are concerned about stains to their floors and carpets. "They don't call it paper training for nothing," he explained.

Attempts to use other methods, such as laying down torn-out pages of Sports Illustrated, have proven unsuccessful, reports McGill. "Those glossy pages just aren't as absorbent," he said. "The pee just rolls right off A-Rod's face."

And in Seattle, where the Post-Intelligencer recently went Web-only, seafood vendors at the venerable Pike Place Market have found themselves struggling to preserve their wares.

"You can't wrap fish in a website," noted vendor Gary Cantowski. "Well, you can, but it's not exactly cost effective."

Add that to the disappointment of children who will no longer be able to copy comic panels using Silly Putty ("A-Rod's pee-stained face will not come off Sports Illustrated onto the Silly Putty," confirmed a Crayola representative), and you have thousands of people praying newspapers can mount a comeback.

"I know things look bad now, but I'm hoping that at the end of the day, people just won't be willing to give up their papier mache," said Fermeson. When asked if she thought people might also not be willing to give up serious, in-depth journalism, she said, "Oh, sure, maybe that too. But more the papier mache."

Meanwhile, representatives of the National Organization for Decoupage have noted that their pastime remains viable, for the time being.

- CAP News Staff

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Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Massachusetts woman accused of forcing elderly mother to commute with her to and from work in order to drive in HOV lane «» World Trade Organization approves putting 'Country Of Origin' labels on immigrants coming into the US to help Americans better target their discrimination «» America's homophobes lobby in favor of gay marriage to "keep them off the streets" and protect the sanctity of the bar scene for straight men «» Protesters in Baltimore are congratulating themselves on "a job well done" and say Freddie Gray would have wanted nothing more than for them to destroy their hometown and all get arrested «» After avoiding jail for sharing state secrets with his mistress biographer, David Petraeus said if he had to do it all over again, he would because "the sex was really, really good" «» New York City vows to reduce its output of white trash by 90% over next 10 years, promises better class of resident "to make country proud" «» Utah becomes first state to offer stoning as death penalty option, saying it's a criminal's right to have their head bashed in «» General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «»