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May 22, 2012
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Obama Apologizes For Bikini Girl

Obama Apologizes For Bikini Girl
Anderson Cooper gets to the heart of the matter.

WASHINGTON (CAP) - President Barack Obama yesterday admitted he made a mistake when he threw his support behind American Idol contestant Katrina Darrell, known affectionately to viewers as Bikini Girl. He said Darrell's exploitation of her own body sent a message that attractive women are treated differently from regular people.

"I think I screwed up," Obama said during an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper. "I agreed with Simon and Randy that Katrina should make it to Hollywood and even told a number of friends as much.

"However, I see now that I was blinded by her extremely tight and well-maintained body and paid little attention to her actual singing ability," the president added. "I take responsibility for it and will make sure it doesn't happen again."

Darrell, who gained instant celebrity status when she appeared at the Phoenix auditions clad only in a bikini and high heels, made it through the first round in Hollywood, but was cut after the group audition thanks in part to her prima donna attitude and unwillingness to work with her three partners to ensure the success of their group as a whole.

"You know, when you make your first appearance in a bikini, there's really not a whole lot you can do to improve upon that," said CAP News TV critic Marc Price. "I think she would have been better served doing the group thing in just pasties."

The president also spoke to Cooper about his struggles buying a new refrigerator, overuse of the term "vetted" to describe every person who may be considered for a position in his administration now or in the future, either near or distant, and Manny Ramirez' rejection of the Los Angeles Dodgers' $25 million contract offer.

"Who in their right mind would turn down $25 million in this economy. Especially someone who doesn't even run out ground balls," said Obama. "I know some Wall Street fat cats who would jump at that kind of money. Except that I'm not going to let them.

"I think Jason Varitek proved that listening to agent Scott Boras is not necessarily in a player's best financial interests, considering that salary arbitration would have netted him more money than he ended up getting from the Red Sox," added Obama. "But I digress. Care for a mint?"

Obama's admission marks a considerable turnaround from the unapologetic days of George W Bush, who defied Senate Democrats when they demanded a deadline for the withdrawal of Sanjaya Malakar from last season's American Idol. Bush ultimately said he was sorry for his support of Malakar, but later admitted to having his fingers crossed during that apology.

- CAP News Staff
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