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Israel Eases Attacks For '24' Season Premiere
GAZA CITY, Gaza (CAP) - For a second day in a row, the Israeli military paused for a two-hour break from its assault on Gaza to allow residents to enjoy the four-hour season premiere of 24 on Fox. It is not known whether Palestinians will receive such a respite every week for the show or if they'll have to record it on DVR and find another time to watch it.
"When we first received word of the halt in attacks on Sunday night, we believed Israel was taking a break for the Golden Globes," said a Hamas militant spokesperson. "And then it dawned on us - why the hell would anyone take a break from anything for that stupid awards show?"
The temporary cease-fire started at 3am (8pm ET) and lasted until shortly after 5am (10pm ET) on both Sunday and Monday nights, with the extra time presumably to allow residents to return to their own homes in the event that they went to a friend's house to watch the show. Reports from Gaza City say many took a nap during rocket attacks the day before so they could stay up for the premiere.
"Yes, the irony is not lost on us that Israel took a break from killing people so the survivors could watch a show about, well, killing people," said White House Press Secretary Dana Perino. "Although I suppose it gave the Palestinians a chance to realize that as bad as their situation is, at least they don't live in Sangala."
The pause in fighting also allowed the UN Relief And Works Agency to hand out humanitarian supplies during commercial breaks, including microwaving hundreds of bags of popcorn and debating the merits of more or less bringing the Tony Almeida character back to life.
According to US military officials, 24 has long been a favorite of terrorists around the world as they watch each season with great anticipation in the hope that their own group or cause will be the featured evil entity at some point. Fox executives admit to a certain level of success with the show's popularity among terrorists.
"Much like a musical act hasn't really 'made it' until they appear on Saturday Night Live, we know that 24 can make or break a terrorist faction," said the show's executive producer Brian Grazer. "Pretty soon they'll be able to apply to be the bad guys in future seasons.
"At that point, we figure the episodes will just write themselves," Grazer added.
Grazer also noted that this season's choice of a US-based terrorist cell has left many international groups claiming an unfair bias in the terrorist selection process, a point he hopes to work into the plot later in the season.
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