LAS VEGAS (CAP) - As the economic downturn continues to force Americans to tighten their belts, the country's two biggest technology conferences are taking unconventional steps as a means of trying to keep attendance up at their shows. Spokespeople for Macworld and the Consumer Electronics Show say both will feature plenty of nudity this week.
"CES is about innovation. Innovation creates new ways of doing things," said Consumer Electronics Association CEO Gary Shapiro. "And if you've ever seen Tianna work a pole, then you've seen innovation at work."
Shapiro said half a dozen local strippers will grace the various exhibit halls and hotel ballrooms at this year's show, providing a welcome respite to what is typically a dry affair between "stuffy corporate types and the aging nerd population." Each brings a signature talent to the conference, but Shapiro assures tradeshow coordinators that they are there to complement the technology, not upstage it.
"Let's face it, these are guys who stand at attention when they hear the whir of a one-terabyte hard drive kick into gear," noted Shapiro. "So when Krystal shows them what she can do with a wireless optical mouse, what that's going to do is sell more mice."
With the exit of Steve Jobs from this year's Macworld Conference & Expo, organizers felt they needed something to help keep interest levels up, because "God knows our products and features aren't going to do that," said Apple marketing chief Philip Schiller.
Schiller, who delivered the keynote address in place of Jobs, said he will be giving another talk flanked on stage by porn actress Ashlynn Brooke and an unnamed well-endowed male, both of whom will demonstrate some of Apple's featured technology as he highlights the product roadmap while standing behind a podium.
"Wait till you see when we elevate them above the stage and they perform their rendition of the I'm a Mac, I'm a PC commercials," said Schiller. "Gives new meaning to having plenty of RAM."
CAP News sources in the auto industry say organizers of the North American International Auto Show plan to take a similar approach in Detroit next week when they feature couples getting it on in the backseats of various car models. They say it's part of an overall theme of practicality at the auto show.
"People right now aren't interested in fancy extras they can't afford," said the source. "Is the car roomy, how do the shocks hold up, do the windows fog easily - that's what people want to know, and that's what automakers need to show them.
"Give people practical reasons to buy that car and sexually arouse them at the same time, and soon everyone will be looking at the Big Three in a new light," added the source.
- CAP News Staff