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Poor Economy Leads To Run On Cardboard Turkeys
MOONACHIE, NJ (CAP) - The recent economic downturn has resulted in skyrocketing sales for cardboard turkeys this Thanksgiving, according to the latest sales figures.
"We've seen a significant upswing in sales over last year," confirmed Karl Plotz, CEO of the New Jersey-based Cardboard Creations LLC. "I'm just glad we're here to offer this valuable service in these tough economic times."
Cardboard Creations offers a life-sized cardboard cutout of a cooked 40-pound turkey, which can be propped up at the end of the dinner table for a "real Thanksgiving feel at a fraction of the price," according to the company's sales materials.
Plotz noted that the cutout is big enough that it can easily fit in front of a plate of some other, less expensive Thanksgiving entree, like bologna or gristle. "Then just serve it from behind the cardboard turkey and it almost feels like the real thing," he said.
While consumers seem happy to have this less expensive alternative, turkey farmers have complained about the new competition during what is already a tough period. "I mean, at these prices, who wouldn't pick a cardboard turkey?" said Paul Fredwicki, president of the Turkey Farmers of America (TFA).
He particularly objected to the optional "Turkey Candle" that provides an authentic turkey-smelling odor along with the cutout. "How can we compete with that?" he asked.
Economists first noted an increase in sales for cardboard products earlier this fall, with demand spiking during the last two months. "Consumers are nothing if not resourceful," said noted Stanford University economist Wendall Wuffie, who also pointed out sizeable increases in sales for cardboard Maseratis and HDTVs.
For instance, "Al," a Pittsburgh area man who had his 60-inch plasma television repossessed for non-payment, recently replaced it with a cardboard model featuring a single still photograph from a 2007 Rams-Falcons game. "It's fun - we sit here for hours at a time looking at it," he said. "The kids take turns making crowd noises."
Then he paused for a second before hanging his head and sobbing for a full eight minutes.
As for what might happen to the cardboard cutout industry should the economy turn around, Plotz said he isn't concerned. "I don't care how well the economy is doing, there will always be a market for cardboard Paris Hiltons," he noted.
The cardboard turkey is available for $9.95 from Cardboard Creations LLC. Cardboard stuffing, potatoes and cranberry sauce are sold separately.
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