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DETROIT (CAP) - Engineers of the plastic Sarah Palin doll, used successfully for both the Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric interviews, will transport the Palin 8000 to a retooling factory in Detroit due to "overstressed circuitry" caused by "extensive wear and tear" on the unit during its vice presidential debate and subsequent campaign stops.
"She's been a great little doll, answering questions with an impressive approximation of human speech," lead engineer Jack Landow said. "Yes, we sent her out with some minor bugs, but all in all, we're very proud of the Palin 8000."
The bugs to which Landow refers are what he describes as a cross-program inconsistency with her eye sockets, noting that she tends to say the word blink more often than an actual human would. Landow said she sometimes will say the word rather than actually blinking her eyes.
Landow credits his team's expertise producing a life-like substitute with giving the real Sarah Palin the time she needs to bone up on such important vice presidential skills as naming more than one Supreme Court ruling, knowing that age 71 is not much different than age 72, and being able to recite the names of at least two newspapers.
"As long as our Palin 8000 can say the words read and newspaper in the right order, that seems to be all reporters need for the moment," said Landow. "But just wait until the real Sarah Palin has learned to say, I read the Atlanta Journal Constitution and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
"That will be a proud day for me and my staff," Landow beamed.
Asked whether the Palin 8000 would be ready to pinch hit for the real Sarah Palin should she become the country's next vice president, Landow replied in the affirmative. "And when she's back online, she'll have been uploaded with some fresh new vocabulary. Don't be surprised if you hear words like electorate and socialism issuing from her beautiful, red plastic lips.
"Although we don't want to go overboard and make her sound like an intellectual or something," Landow noted. "The idea is to make her believable."
And has Mr. Landow formed a crush on his Palin 8000? "Well, maybe just a little one," he admitted. "She's feisty and pretty, but whenever she starts to get on my nerves with all that 'gosh' and 'by golly' stuff, I just power her down.
"Sadly, we can't do that with the real one," Landow lamented.
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