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WASHINGTON (CAP) - President Bush says he is back on track and refocused after admitting to reporters that he recently went a stretch of time where he "totally forgot all about" the war in Iraq. He has vowed to start attending daily briefings with members of his staff so he can "keep it on [his] plate."
"You know when you get that feeling that there's something you're supposed to be doing, but you can't put your finger in it?" Bush said to reporters during a press briefing this morning. "And then it hit me and I was like, oh snap! I totally forgot that war was still going on."
Bush said it wasn't until his recent appearance on Deal Or No Deal to offer support for a contestant who is an Iraqi war veteran that he remembered everything still left to be done in that Middle Eastern country. He confided with staff members that he "thought we blew that place up a long time ago."
"Yes, I can confirm that when the show called to see if the president could tape a message for a veteran who was a constestant, he asked which war," said White House press secretary Dana Perino. "But to his defense, President Bush has gone a couple months without a vacation."
Perino also subtly laid the blame for Bush's mental lapse on the media, saying that all the attention given to the Democratic primaries in the news has made it difficult for many people, including the president, to remember that there are other things going on in the world as well.
"There are a lot of demands on the president's time," Perino said. "Between American Idol and Survivor and all the shows coming back after the writers' strike - there are only so many hours in the day."
The war on terror has also felt the pinch of the president's lack of time, with terrorist leaders around the world unable to garner enough of his attention to make their efforts worthwhile. Said one terrorist who asked to remain anonymous, "We're all like, where's Bush, dude seems to have forgotten all about us. What am I blowing myself up for?"
"It's kind of like the bully in the schoolyard," said actor-turned-political blogger Tim Donnelly. "If you don't pay any attention to them, eventually they get bored and go away. Bush's recent apathy has actually done more for the war on terror than years of half-assed presidenting."
White House officials said that while there's little they can do about Bush's half-assed nature, they are planning an extensive cover-up for the remainder of his term to show the world that he still cares.
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