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Here's the second half of CAP's analysis and predictions for the first round of the NFL Draft this weekend. If you missed the first half, you can check it out here.
17. Kansas City: The Chiefs traded defensive end Jared Allen to the Vikings earlier this week for this pick. The word is that someone who can squat a lot of weight will be available to them here. Apparently, that's a good thing.
18. Houston: We read on a porn website that the Texans will select a fullback. It seemed legit, so we're going with that, too.
19. Philadelphia: Wouldn't it be great if Andy Reid and Bill Parcells both found the "immunity idol" at the same time? (See Denver's #12 pick) And the confrontation quickly turned into two old fat guys wrestling for a cheap statue. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just us? The Eagles will take a place kicker.
20. Tampa Bay: Our "NFL Draft expert" told us the Bucs will take a running back here. But our "NFL Draft expert" was Bryant Gumbel, so that prediction - much like his play-by-play, is horribly, horribly wrong.
21. Washington: That porn website (we spent a lot of time doing research there) also said the Redskins will take a fullback. Makes sense to us. This will probably be the beginning of the fullback run.
22. Dallas: The Cowboys traded for suspended cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones earlier this week. If he's going to corrupt a rookie, it has to be someone who can jump right in and work on his off-the-field misdemeanors and felonies immediately under the tutelage of the master. Dallas will keep that in mind when making this selection.
23. Pittsburgh: The Steeler's pick is very obvious. They're going to nab someone whose stock is rising, who's got a great motor, who can play in a one-gap or two-gap system, and can potentially be a shut-down corner. Bank on that.
24. Tennessee: No "Pacman" Jones means there's a probation officer in Tennessee who just had his social calendar open up - way up. Maybe he has a son? If so, the Titans will take him here.
25. Seattle: The Seahawks were hoping to acquire more players - younger players, ideally - this month. This should be a great opportunity for them to do that. It's really nice that the NFL does this every year. I know teams like the Seahawks really appreciate it. They'll take a long snapper with this pick.
26. Jacksonville: The Jaguars will take North Carolina 6-4, 308-pound defensive tackle, Kentwan Balmer with this pick.
27. San Diego: Team officials in San Diego told us that they are willing to part with this pick. They're looking to trade for someone less weepy than LaDainian Tomlinson.
28. Dallas: With this pick the Cowboys will go after a player other sites have labeled "a tweener." We haven't figured out what that is yet, but quarterback Tony Romo better stay away; our sources tell us he likes jail bait.
29. San Francisco: In the spirit of Earth Day earlier this week, the 49ers will be taking a "recycled draft pick." Apparently, that's another team's draft pick from two years ago, who is available once again. Chances are, however, that such a player would still be on the other team that drafted him, so we think someone dropped the ball there. Nice idea, though.
30. Green Bay: No glaring vacancies on this team. They actually may just "pass" and wait until next round.
31. N.Y. Giants: Does it really matter? If you're picking down here, you have no chance of winning the Super Bowl. Giants fans get ready for another disappointing season.
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